Category: Politics
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Investigative Report Reveals Boris Johnson Is Just Donald Trump on a Windy Day
London, UK—In an unprecedented investigative report, journalists have unveiled that former UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson is, in fact, former US President Donald Trump experiencing a particularly unfortunate hair day. This revelation has sent shockwaves through political circles on both sides of the Atlantic.en.wikipedia.org+2en.wikipedia.org+2en.wikipedia.org+2 For years, political analysts have noted the striking similarities between Johnson…
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Putin Admits He Gets All Political News From Asmongold Reaction Videos
MOSCOW — In a shocking revelation that has left Kremlin watchers and geopolitical analysts reeling, Russian President Vladimir Putin admitted in a recent interview that he gets all of his political news from Twitch streamer Asmongold’s reaction videos. “Why would I waste time with CNN, BBC, or even Russian state media when I can get…
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THIS JUST IN: Orange Man Declares Himself Greater Than George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Possibly God
MAR-A-LAGO, FL — In a stunning display of humility, former President Donald J. Trump announced today that he is “far and away” superior to both George Washington and Abraham Lincoln, citing his “unbelievable” poll numbers, “perfect” presidency, and his self-proclaimed ability to cut down a cherry tree but still deny it. “Look, Washington? Great guy,…
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“Bona Fide Academic” Flexes His Intellectual Superiority by Deferring to the “Experts”
CAMBRIDGE, MA — Local professor Dr. Jonathan Pembroke, an esteemed scholar with an impressive tenure at Northridge University, demonstrated his towering intellectual prowess yet again this week by masterfully refusing to have an opinion, instead choosing to “defer to the experts.” “In today’s world, with so much misinformation, it’s important to listen to those who…
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Orange Man Fails to Sell Out National Resources—Analysts Question His Commitment to Corruption
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a shocking departure from standard operating procedure, President Donald Trump has reportedly not signed a lucrative mineral rights deal that would have sold off vast reserves of rare earth elements to a foreign conglomerate. The move—or rather, lack thereof—has stunned political observers, who long assumed he would eagerly exchange America’s subterranean…
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