SPRINGFIELD, IL — Local Facebook warrior and self-proclaimed “music historian” Greg Dawson has once again bravely taken to the comments section to demand an explanation for why artificial intelligence can’t accurately regurgitate simple facts about Western early music, despite its so-called “advanced learning capabilities.”
Dawson, 54, a part-time landscaper and full-time spreader of unsolicited opinions, frequently posts lengthy rants questioning why AI is being developed at all when it “can’t even tell me who composed the first madrigal” or “properly differentiate between Gregorian chant and Organum without sounding like a moron.”
“If AI is so smart, why can’t it just tell me which mode was most commonly used in medieval liturgical music?” wrote Dawson on a thread about AI-powered music composition tools. “What’s it even doing? Making pop songs? Writing garbage film scores? They should program it to do something useful, like tell people how counterpoint actually works.”
Despite countless replies attempting to explain that AI’s role is to analyze vast amounts of data and identify patterns rather than simply parrot niche historical trivia, Dawson remains unconvinced. “I just don’t see how a robot composing algorithmic Bach fugues is helping preserve the rich legacy of Franco-Flemish polyphony,” he wrote. “Meanwhile, nobody under 30 even knows who Josquin des Prez is. Total joke.”
When presented with examples of AI’s role in music restoration, automated transcription, and historical analysis, Dawson countered with what he described as “cold, hard logic.” “Explain this,” he typed, refusing to elaborate further.
Dawson’s skepticism has made him a celebrated voice among his 237 Facebook friends, many of whom also question AI’s ability to provide reliable musicological insight.
“Greg asks the questions no one else will,” said fellow commenter Richard Callahan. “Like, why can’t AI tell me the exact tempo of a 14th-century estampie? Why does it struggle with understanding authentic cadences in Renaissance choral music? What’s it hiding?”
Despite his vocal opposition to AI’s musical shortcomings, Dawson continues to use Spotify, YouTube, and Wikipedia for music discovery, all while insisting he doesn’t need “fancy computer nonsense” to appreciate real art. “Back in my day, we didn’t need AI,” he declared in a recent post. “We just studied music history properly, and if we got it wrong, we blamed the Italians.”
At press time, Dawson was seen angrily asking ChatGPT to name every known work of Guillaume de Machaut, only to type, “Typical. Won’t answer the real questions.”
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