Category: Music
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Guitar Center Rebrands to Banjo Center in Bold Attempt to Alienate Remaining Customers
WESTLAKE VILLAGE, CA — In a sweeping pivot meant to reflect “the acoustic soul of America’s past, whether anyone asked for it or not,” Guitar Center announced Monday it will rebrand as Banjo Center, effective immediately. The company hopes the move will finally cement its place as the nation’s leading supplier of instruments no one…
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In Leaked Recording From His Deathbed, Andrés Segovia Regrets Pursuing Guitar Over Banjo
MADRID, Spain — In a revelation that has rocked the classical music world and left the banjo community quietly smug, a newly uncovered deathbed recording of legendary guitarist Andrés Segovia has revealed that the Spanish virtuoso regretted dedicating his life to the guitar instead of the banjo — a statement musicologists are calling “deeply shocking,”…
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Local Facebook Hero Incapable of Understanding AI’s Failure to Regurgitate Simple Facts About Western Early Music
SPRINGFIELD, IL — Local Facebook warrior and self-proclaimed “music historian” Greg Dawson has once again bravely taken to the comments section to demand an explanation for why artificial intelligence can’t accurately regurgitate simple facts about Western early music, despite its so-called “advanced learning capabilities.” Dawson, 54, a part-time landscaper and full-time spreader of unsolicited opinions,…
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