MADRID, Spain — In a revelation that has rocked the classical music world and left the banjo community quietly smug, a newly uncovered deathbed recording of legendary guitarist Andrés Segovia has revealed that the Spanish virtuoso regretted dedicating his life to the guitar instead of the banjo — a statement musicologists are calling “deeply shocking,” “historically disorienting,” and “extremely bluegrass.”
The recording, captured by a nurse in 1987 and apparently preserved on a Betamax tape labeled “Segovia — Final Riffs,” features the frail but lucid maestro lamenting his musical path with surprising candor.
“I wasted my fingers on the fretboard of aristocracy,” Segovia whispers in a raspy voice. “I could have been pickin’ in the Ozarks. I should’ve gone banjo.”
According to sources familiar with the tape, Segovia elaborated further, expressing bitter disappointment that he had “spent decades refining the tonal purity of Bach’s fugues on six nylon strings, when five strings and a thumb pick could’ve brought real joy.”
“I tried to elevate the guitar to the level of the violin,” he sighed. “But the banjo? The banjo needed no elevation. It was already in the heavens, played by shirtless prophets on porches.”
Scholars have scrambled to reframe decades of Segovia’s teachings in light of this revelation. “This completely reframes the canon,” said Dr. Esteban Luque, professor of Classical Guitar Studies at the University of Barcelona. “His entire push to legitimize the guitar as a serious concert instrument was apparently fueled by an unfulfilled desire to play ‘Foggy Mountain Breakdown’ at Carnegie Hall.”
The banjo community, long relegated to PBS documentaries and ironic indie bands, has reacted with a mixture of vindication and banjo-fueled humility.
“This is a great day for banjoists,” said Daisy McClintock, President of the International Banjo Appreciation League (IBAL). “For too long we’ve been told we’re not ‘serious’ musicians. Well, the father of modern guitar technique wanted to be one of us. Who’s laughing now? Besides us, because we’re playing the banjo.”
Critics and former students, however, remain skeptical. Some claim the recording may have been doctored by rogue Appalachian revivalists, while others suggest Segovia’s morphine dosage may have “tuned him to a different frequency.”
But Segovia’s family stands by the tape’s authenticity. “He always kept a banjo in the closet,” said grandson Javier Segovia. “He called it his ‘shameful dream.’ He would pluck it when he thought no one was home, usually while wearing overalls and chewing on a straw.”
As tribute, several international guitar festivals have announced they will begin incorporating a mandatory banjo segment in all future competitions. Contestants must now perform a classical sonata and a rendition of “Dueling Banjos” while making minimal eye contact with the judges.
Meanwhile, banjo manufacturers report a sudden spike in sales, with orders from conservatories pouring in.
“It’s like we’ve all been tuned to the wrong key for a century,” said Dr. Luque, shaking his head. “Segovia didn’t want to refine the instrument. He wanted to hoedown.”
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