New York, NY – Record labels have entered an unprecedented legal dispute with music streaming services over royalties owed for hidden tracks reportedly composed by the “unpaid labor” of phantom spirits haunting recording studios. This move follows allegations by the American Association of Record Executives (AARE) that streaming platforms have failed to compensate for what they call a “supernatural sound phenomenon” present on numerous albums.
The discovery was made during a routine audit by AARE, who noticed spectral murmurings and moans at the tail ends of several well-known albums. “We believe these hidden tracks are the work of studio ghosts, disembodied artists from past centuries enticed by the opportunity to once again participate in the creative musical process,” claimed Dr. Harold Witherbane, AARE’s chief auditor and self-proclaimed paranormal acoustician.
The industry’s call for royalties has been met with skepticism from streaming service representatives, yet the labels are undeterred. “These spirits are technically providing an auditory experience,” said Melanie Piesnchinski, a consultant specializing in entertainment law and the metaphysical. “And according to the Spiritual Acoustics Revenue Act of 1998, any entity producing sound in a recorded space is entitled to compensation, living or spectral.”
Numerous artists have responded to these claims, expressing both concern and curiosity. “I had no idea that the echo on my latest single was a ghost’s dying sonnet,” remarked alt-pop sensation SkaterDoe. A few musicians have gone so far as to use Ouija boards for tracking sessions, hoping to harness uncredited ghastly gusts to add organic layers to their digital productions. However, the Ghost Musician’s Union (GMU) warns against this practice, arguing it may lead to spectral provocations and “haunted harmonies.”
Some studios have begun charging for “ambient ethereal troves” in which the spirits supposedly reside, not unlike an Airbnb rental for arcane entities. The famed Poltergeist Lounge in Los Angeles has introduced a premium recording package, including séances and medium consultations to optimize a ghost’s sonic contribution.
Meanwhile, in a bizarre twist, the Internal Revenue Service has begun the daunting task of adjusting tax codes for supernatural income streams, entertaining the notion of implementing a “phantom tax” bracket. But, as expert on paranormal finance, Carlton Nihtshade points out, “The real question is, how do you audit an apparition?”
The campaign for ghostly royalties represents a new frontier in intellectual property rights, one that challenges traditional definitions of labor and compensation. As Justice Etherea Foglin of the Court of Abstract Rights ponders in her unpublished manuscript, “Can a harmony be haunted if it never truly rests?”
Despite the bewilderment in the industry and beyond, one thing remains certain: music remains a transcendent medium, now apparently resonating on planes both corporal and incorporeal. This revelation has left industry leaders to grapple with the ethical implications of profiting off the imperceptible whispers of artistic echoes from beyond. All that remains is the unresolved harmonics of legal discourse between ghostly baritones and capitalistic tenors.
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