Government Unveils Plans for World’s Largest Stadium in Middle of Nowhere, Forgets About Roads to Get There

Wyoming Plains – The Department of Megaprojects announced Monday the approval of “The WySphere,” a 300,000-seat multipurpose stadium slated for construction in the center of the American Steppe, seventy miles from the nearest paved road. Officials lauded the development as “a revolutionary commitment to sporting excellence and regional transformation,” though logistical plans have drawn early scrutiny from lawmakers and, incidentally, Google Maps.

Set to break ground by late fall, the WySphere will eclipse the record for world’s largest stadium, according to the International Stadium Federation, offering advanced turf technology, retractable roof petals, and “ambient prairie enhancement” soundscapes. Initial renderings depict the WySphere as a shining hexagonal citadel, dots of confused antelope visible along the horizon. The Department estimates an economic windfall of $14 billion annually, based on “anticipated fan enthusiasm and butterfly migration tracking.”

Speaking at a ribbonless ceremony beside a solitary utility pole, Project Director Ellery Jane explained, “This is an unprecedented opportunity. We’re bringing premier athletic events directly into America’s geographic soul. There is nothing in the way—by design.” When pressed for details regarding transportation, Jane replied, “The landscape is rugged, but we anticipate a spirit of adventure among attendees.”

According to the master plan, the WySphere will feature seating with telescopic binoculars for improved view of distant tailgates. The attached car park, twice the size of Minneapolis, is described in documents as “non-linear, interpretable, and accessible via wide array of creative approaches.” While blueprints include diagrams of a suspended monorail, officials now confirm this was conceptual. “The line marked ‘future thinking’ was misinterpreted as ‘monorail corridor,’” said logistics specialist Timothy Bramble. “As of now, the main route is still under consideration.”

A 1,400-page feasibility assessment by the American Infrastructure Association failed to address ingress and egress, devoting the majority of analysis to “the stunning sense of isolation and opportunity for self-discovery.” Ticketing materials will remind fans to “plan for multi-day approaches and expect a transformative experience.” Officials declined to clarify provision of basic amenities outside the stadium perimeter, citing ongoing discussions with the Bureau of Distant Affairs.

Critics have noted several ambitious solutions already under pilot, including test herds of passenger llamas, a drone-guided compass program (suspended after a magnetic anomaly), and “Bring Your Own Blimp” certification for aviators. While enthusiasm runs high in certain segments of the Department, the neighboring town of Pinedale reported a significant uptick in calls from lost surveyors in recent days.

The first scheduled event is a prospective world finals match between teams yet to be established. For now, officials remain confident. “This is about vision,” said Jane. “When people see what we’ve done here, they’ll find a way.” Asked what that way might be, she pointed into the empty distance, where survey flags shivered quietly in the open wind.