Tag: workplace
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Desperate Soccer Team Considers Hiring Man Recently Fired for Being Bad at Job, Surprised by Lack of Enthusiasm
Shrewsbury, UK – Citing a mounting stack of losses and a growing sense of “collective malaise,” Shrewsbury Town AFC confirmed this week that they are in advanced negotiations to sign Ian Deemster, a 46-year-old former accounts manager recently dismissed from his last role for being, according to official HR documentation, “demonstrably incapable of meeting minimum…
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Nation Holds Breath as Government Shutdown Threatens to Finally Prove Middle Management is Non-Essential
Washington, D.C. – As federal agencies brace for the midnight deadline that could shut down nonessential operations, economists and management consultants nationwide are nervously monitoring what they call “the greatest natural experiment in American middle management since the invention of PowerPoint.” Several White House senior staffers reportedly spent the morning tabulating which agencies’ custodial, front-line,…
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Local Engineer Revealed To Be Method Actor Doing 10-Year Bit
St. Louis, MO – Residents of Westmore Heights were startled this week to learn that William Dunphy, widely regarded as a dependable process engineer at local firm Covalence Industries, has been quietly engaged in an extended method acting project for the past ten years. The revelation emerged after Covalence’s annual Human Resource Reflection Initiative uncovered…
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