Tag: tentacled rabbits
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Colorado Wildlife Department Announces New Initiative to Teach Tentacled Rabbits the Importance of Boundaries
In a groundbreaking move that has left ecologists and nightmare fuel enthusiasts in equal awe, the Colorado Wildlife Department (CWD) has unveiled an initiative designed to teach the increasingly elusive tentacled rabbits the importance of personal boundaries. These creatures—scientifically dubbed ‘Squidoscuttlers Lagomorphidae’—have been a source of mystification and urban legend since their first documented sighting…
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Department of Agriculture Unveils Plan to Market Tentacled Rabbits as Eco-Friendly Pest Control
WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a bold push to embrace sustainable agriculture, the U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA) announced Friday its controversial new initiative to promote the use of tentacled rabbits, or *Oryctolagus calamaroides*, as a “green” alternative to chemical pesticides—despite critics’ concerns about the possible unintended consequences of unleashing cephalopod-infused mammals in America’s heartland. “We’re very excited…
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