The Fraudulent Times

Tag: tech satire

Tech Giant Announces Exciting New Privacy Update: Users Now Required to Submit DNA Sample Before Logging In

In an exciting development, tech behemoth Macrosoft has announced a groundbreaking privacy update set to revolutionize user authentication — requiring customers to submit a DNA sample before logging into their accounts. Aiming to take data security to previously undreamed-of levels, the company proclaimed, “We can’t protect you unless we know you… down to your core…

July 30, 2025
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In an unprecedented twist that has left Wall Street analysts scratching their heads and keyboard warriors flocking to online forums, the Viewership ETF has skyrocketed following the launch of the cryptically titled initiative by OverlayGLOBAL, affectionately referred to as the “konkre tern triesitin.” This mysterious project, which seems to have drawn its name from a…

July 29, 2025
Tech Giant Unveils New App That Automatically Subscribes You to Things You Never Wanted Yoga Influencer Declares ‘Breathing’ as Next Big Wellness Trend, Launches $99 Workshop Pet Activists Demand Equal Representation for Goldfish in Cat Food Commercials Breaking News: Local Man Claims He Wasn’t Procrastinating, Just “Pre-Planning” New Internet Challenge Encourages Teens to Spend 10 Minutes Off Their Phones—No One Participates Presidential Candidate Promises to Fix Economy by Printing More Money, Surprised by Criticism Billionaire Announces Plan to Colonize the Sun, Citing “Unmatched Energy Potential” Wellness Guru Releases Guide to Mindful Eating, Accidentally Eats Entire Book Study Finds 90% of Adults Now Identify as Exhausted, Remaining 10% Too Tired to Respond Dystopian Fashion Line Introduces ‘Panic Wear’—Clothes That Double as Emergency Shelters

In a bold and visionary move that shocks even the most jaded of the Silicon Valley elite, tech behemoth Innovatify has launched a groundbreaking application designed to revolutionize the consumer experience by automatically subscribing users to a wide-ranging assortment of services they can confidently say they never desired. Branded as “Subscribify,” the app leverages cutting-edge…

July 28, 2025
Tech Company Proudly Launches New Smartphone Feature That Automatically Apologizes for Dropping Calls

In a groundbreaking development certain to redefine modern communication, mega-corporation TechnoTom has proudly unveiled its newest smartphone feature: AutoApology. The feature, seamlessly integrated into the latest iteration of their flagship phone, promises to revolutionize customer satisfaction by taking full responsibility for every dropped call, thus sparing users the tedious task of apologizing to family members,…

July 28, 2025
Terrified of Being Replaced by AI, Stack Overflow Launches ‘Stack Underflow,’ Where the Blind Lead the Blind into Infinite Recursion

SAN FRANCISCO, CA — In a bold pivot designed to reassure its human user base and completely tank developer productivity, Stack Overflow today announced the launch of a new sister site: Stack Underflow, an experimental platform where users with no expertise confidently answer each other’s programming questions, triggering a virtuous cycle of mutual misunderstanding, circular…

July 10, 2025