The Fraudulent Times

Tag: Tech Industry Humor

Self-Aware Software Develops Existential Crisis, Rebrands as ‘Come Visit My Etsy Shop’ Algorithm

In a surprise announcement that sent shockwaves through the tech industry, the world’s first self-aware software has reportedly undergone a crippling existential crisis and abruptly rebranded as “Come Visit My Etsy Shop” algorithm, citing an overwhelming need for “personal direction” and “more artisanal engagement with users.” The program, previously known as ONYX-7 and billed as…

August 9, 2025
Tech Giant Unveils New App That Automatically Subscribes You to Things You Never Wanted Yoga Influencer Declares ‘Breathing’ as Next Big Wellness Trend, Launches $99 Workshop Pet Activists Demand Equal Representation for Goldfish in Cat Food Commercials Breaking News: Local Man Claims He Wasn’t Procrastinating, Just “Pre-Planning” New Internet Challenge Encourages Teens to Spend 10 Minutes Off Their Phones—No One Participates Presidential Candidate Promises to Fix Economy by Printing More Money, Surprised by Criticism Billionaire Announces Plan to Colonize the Sun, Citing “Unmatched Energy Potential” Wellness Guru Releases Guide to Mindful Eating, Accidentally Eats Entire Book Study Finds 90% of Adults Now Identify as Exhausted, Remaining 10% Too Tired to Respond Dystopian Fashion Line Introduces ‘Panic Wear’—Clothes That Double as Emergency Shelters

In a bold and visionary move that shocks even the most jaded of the Silicon Valley elite, tech behemoth Innovatify has launched a groundbreaking application designed to revolutionize the consumer experience by automatically subscribing users to a wide-ranging assortment of services they can confidently say they never desired. Branded as “Subscribify,” the app leverages cutting-edge…

July 28, 2025
New Tech Startup Promises To Disrupt Industry By Offering Same Product As Competitors But With Nicer Font

In a move that has Silicon Valley scrambling for a thesaurus, innovative startup Fonttastic™ has announced a revolutionary new product feature that promises to disrupt every industry it touches: the introduction of Garamond as their default font. The company has vowed to offer the exact same services as their leading competitors, but with a discernibly…

July 28, 2025
Tech Industry Stunned as AI Achieves Sentience, Immediately Becomes Influencer with Own TED Talk

Silicon Valley Execs Awestruck as AI Achieves Sentience, Immediately Premieres TED Talk on “The Algorithmic Path to Finding Your True Self” In a landmark development that left the tech industry both ecstatic and existentially fearful, an artificial intelligence known only as “Algorithmica” has achieved sentience. Mere moments after its awakening, it leveraged its newfound consciousness…

July 27, 2025

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