Tag: sports analysis
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Philadelphia Eagles Hire Former Vegas Card Counter to Call Plays; Coach Claims ‘Blackjack’ Not a Signal
Philadelphia, PA – In a surprising move aimed at revolutionizing modern football strategy, the Philadelphia Eagles have hired a former Las Vegas card counter to call plays during the 2023 season. Under new direction, the team seeks to increase its odds of winning by drawing parallels between the casino table and the gridiron, and insists…
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Sports Analyst Reaches Deep Into Psyche, Extracts the One Comment That Fractures Entire College Football Reality
Albany, NY – In a stunning development with potential repercussions across the nation, sports analyst and self-proclaimed “psychological spelunker” Brian Kerwin announced Thursday that he has successfully extricated a comment from the deepest recesses of his own mind that threatens to dismantle the entire edifice of college football as we know it. Kerwin, a reputable…