Tag: self-improvement satire

Local Man Accidentally Swallows Pride While Bending Over to Pick Up Bootstraps

In an unprecedented display of self-reliance gone awry, local man Peter Thompson found himself in a peculiar bind last Tuesday when he inadvertently swallowed his own pride while attempting to hoist himself by his bootstraps. The incident occurred at precisely 8:15 AM, seconds after a motivational video on the virtues of hard work and perseverance…

July 28, 2025
Local Man Proudly Announces New Year’s Resolution to Get More Excuses Ready for Next Year’s Resolutions

In a groundbreaking move for the world of self-improvement and deferment, local man Steve Thompson has confidently announced his New Year’s resolution for 2024: to be better prepared with excuses for not fulfilling his 2025 resolutions. Thompson, a 34-year-old professional procrastinator and part-time graphic designer, shared his paradigm-shifting plan at a holiday gathering, much to…

July 27, 2025

Local Man Accidentally Swallows Pride While Bending Over to Pick Up Bootstraps