The Fraudulent Times

Tag: Satire

  • “Congress Debates AI Rights: Should Robots Get a Day Off on Labor Day?”

    **Congress Debates AI Rights: Should Robots Get a Day Off on Labor Day?** WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a bold move that experts are calling “the most irrelevant debate since the installation of the Capitol Hill slide-whistle signaling system,” Congress has convened to discuss one of the most pressing issues of the 21st century: whether artificial intelligence should…

  • In Leaked Recording From His Deathbed, Andrés Segovia Regrets Pursuing Guitar Over Banjo

    MADRID, Spain — In a revelation that has rocked the classical music world and left the banjo community quietly smug, a newly uncovered deathbed recording of legendary guitarist Andrés Segovia has revealed that the Spanish virtuoso regretted dedicating his life to the guitar instead of the banjo — a statement musicologists are calling “deeply shocking,”…

  • Amazon Announces New Tombstone-Side Delivery Service for Customers Who Can’t Even Anymore

    SEATTLE, WA — In its latest attempt to ensure same-day delivery, Amazon has unveiled Prime Eternal, a new tombstone-side delivery service allowing deceased Prime members to continue receiving packages post-mortem. The service, already in beta testing across select cemeteries in Florida and Arizona, promises to bring “unprecedented convenience to the permanently stationary.” According to Amazon…

  • FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

    NIH and Niantic Announce Groundbreaking Public Health Initiative: ‘Gotta Catch ’em all!’ Mobile App March 2025 – Washington, D.C. – The National Institutes of Health (NIH) and Niantic, the company behind Pokémon GO, have announced an unprecedented collaboration to revolutionize disease awareness and tracking with the launch of ‘Gotta Catch ’em all!’, a state-of-the-art mobile…

  • Putin Admits He Gets All Political News From Asmongold Reaction Videos

    MOSCOW — In a shocking revelation that has left Kremlin watchers and geopolitical analysts reeling, Russian President Vladimir Putin admitted in a recent interview that he gets all of his political news from Twitch streamer Asmongold’s reaction videos. “Why would I waste time with CNN, BBC, or even Russian state media when I can get…

  • “Bona Fide Academic” Flexes His Intellectual Superiority by Deferring to the “Experts”

    CAMBRIDGE, MA — Local professor Dr. Jonathan Pembroke, an esteemed scholar with an impressive tenure at Northridge University, demonstrated his towering intellectual prowess yet again this week by masterfully refusing to have an opinion, instead choosing to “defer to the experts.” “In today’s world, with so much misinformation, it’s important to listen to those who…