Tag: National Cybersecurity Task Force
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Underfunded Cybersecurity Task Force Discovers Fast Food Chain Secretly Outsourcing Customer Complaints to Fictional Email Addresses
WASHINGTON, D.C.—After months of exhaustive investigation and exactly zero dollars in additional funding, the National Cybersecurity Task Force announced Monday that it had uncovered Subway’s most creative cost-cutting measure yet: outsourcing all digital customer complaints to fictional email addresses, including “helpful.hamster@freshmail.net” and “manager404@inboxless.org.” “We’d been tracking a suspicious decline in complaint resolution rates among major…