Tag: media consumption habits

Scientists Announce Discovery of New Human Instinct to Scroll Past Headlines for Fear of Existential Dread

In a groundbreaking revelation that promises to reshape human understanding of evolutionary psychology, a team of scientists from the Institute of Modern Behaviors has identified a previously unrecognized human instinct: an innate urge to scroll past headlines without engaging, motivated by an overwhelming fear of existential dread. Dr. Sylvia Scrollden, the lead researcher on the…

August 5, 2025
Local Man Proudly Announces Plan to “Willfully Ignore Reality” for Rest of Election Season

In a groundbreaking move that has baffled both political analysts and his immediate family, local man Benjamin “Benji” Thompson has boldly declared his intention to willfully ignore reality for the remainder of the election season. The announcement was made from his living room recliner, where he has been cultivating a fortress of ignorance fortified by…

July 27, 2025

Scientists Announce Discovery of New Human Instinct to Scroll Past Headlines for Fear of Existential Dread