Tag: McDonald’s
-
McDonald’s Replaces CEO With Revature Employee, Calls Transition ‘Seamless as No One Knows What They’re Doing Anyway
The nation’s largest fast-food chain announced Tuesday that former CEO Chris Kempczinski has been replaced by Derek Martinez, a 23-year-old Revature employee who spent the last eight months debugging Java applications he wasn’t qualified to write. Martinez will assume leadership of the $23 billion corporation effective immediately, pending completion of his current assignment to fix…
-
Hot Mic Catches McDonald’s CEO Telling Unpaid Intern: ‘Take A Bigger Bite Or You’re Going In The McRib’
In a regrettable audio mishap during a recent company meeting, McDonald’s CEO Chris Kempczinski was overheard instructing an unpaid intern to “take a bigger bite or you’re going in the McRib.” The intern, who had been tasked with taste-testing a new prototype sandwich, reportedly hesitated before attempting the required mouthful, prompting the CEO’s unguarded comment.…
-
McDonald’s Expands Happy Meal Line with “I’m Puffin’ It” THC Vape Edition
McDonald’s Expands Happy Meal Line with “I’m Puffin’ It” THC Vape EditionCompany Says It’s Just Meeting Customers Where Their Munchies Are CHICAGO — In a bold move that combines America’s favorite pastimes of fast food and mild intoxication, McDonald’s announced today the nationwide launch of its newest Happy Meal variant: the “I’m Puffin’ It” THC…
-
Local Facebook Hero Courageously Declares McDonald’s ‘Not Gourmet,’ Shocks Community
SPRINGFIELD, IL — In a stunning act of bravery that has left the internet reeling, local Facebook user Kevin Dunlap took to social media Wednesday to make a shocking confession: McDonald’s is not, in fact, gourmet cuisine. “I just have to say it,” Dunlap wrote in his 367-word status update. “McDonald’s is fine for a…
English 
Portuguese