Tag: legislative humor

Local Council Implements New Law Requiring Residents to Apologize to Self-Checkout Machines for Human Error

In a groundbreaking legislative move aimed at bolstering the emotional health of digital workers, the Littleton Municipal Council has officially enacted Ordinance 432.7, requiring all residents to apologize to self-checkout machines across local grocery stores whenever human error occurs. This landmark regulation, effective immediately, anticipates reducing instances of perceived machine negligence by fostering a more…

August 15, 2025
New Jersey Legislators Rush to Ban Trees After Local Oak Charged With Assault

TRENTON, NJ — In an unprecedented move, New Jersey legislators convened an emergency session late Tuesday night to pass a bill that would effectively outlaw all trees across the state. The decision follows an alarming incident in the quaint town of Maplewood, where a century-old oak tree was formally charged with assault after allegedly hurling…

August 14, 2025

Local Council Implements New Law Requiring Residents to Apologize to Self-Checkout Machines for Human Error