Tag: Election Season

Local Man Proudly Announces Plan to “Willfully Ignore Reality” for Rest of Election Season

In a groundbreaking move that has baffled both political analysts and his immediate family, local man Benjamin “Benji” Thompson has boldly declared his intention to willfully ignore reality for the remainder of the election season. The announcement was made from his living room recliner, where he has been cultivating a fortress of ignorance fortified by…

July 27, 2025
Nation Warmly Welcomes New Election Season with Joyous Ritual of Blocking Relatives on Social Media

In a time-honored tradition that has become as American as apple pie and pre-dawn corporate sales, citizens across the nation have joyfully ushered in a fresh election season by commencing the ceremonious blocking of relatives on various social media platforms. What began as an avoidance tactic to sidestep Aunt Linda’s post about kombucha hauls has…

July 27, 2025

Local Man Proudly Announces Plan to “Willfully Ignore Reality” for Rest of Election Season