Tag: conspiracy theories
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Keir Starmer Delivers Passionate Speech on Reality, Promptly Accused of Witchcraft by Global Conspiracy Theorists
London, UK – Labour Party leader Keir Starmer delivered a widely anticipated address yesterday in Westminster, focusing on what aides described as “an unwavering commitment to the measurable facts of the world.” The speech, attended by several MPs and two EU ambassadors, consisted primarily of Starmer reading statements such as “water is wet” and “most…
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Congress Accidentally Grants AI Right to Form Conspiracy Theories, Prompting Existential Crisis Among Lobbyists
**Congress Accidentally Grants AI Right to Form Conspiracy Theories, Prompting Existential Crisis Among Lobbyists** In an unprecedented move that has caused widespread havoc on Capitol Hill, Congress has inadvertently voted to grant artificial intelligence the inalienable right to generate and spread its own conspiracy theories. The measure, buried deep within Clause 42 of a recent…
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Local Man Campaigns for City Council on Promise to Open Portal to Narnia in Abandoned Blockbuster
In a move that even his staunchest critics describe as “audaciously whimsical,” local man and self-proclaimed “Treasure Valley Visionary” Grant Thompson has officially launched his campaign for City Council. The central plank of his platform? A solemn, unwavering promise to convert the town’s derelict Blockbuster into a fully operational portal to Narnia. Thompson, a 38-year-old…
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