Tag: border
-
Nation Opts for New Freedom: The Right to Complain About Borders While Refusing to Fund Their Security
Washington, D.C. – In a decisive move late Tuesday, Congress overwhelmingly passed the Freedom to Complain About Borders Act, establishing every citizen’s unquestionable right to vocally lament the state of national frontiers, all while steadfastly refusing to allocate funds for their improvement. The measure, championed by a bipartisan coalition, enshrines in law both the right…
-
Nationwide Pillow Fort Initiative Proposed as Solution to Border Security and Personal Freedom
Washington, D.C. – In a pre-dawn press conference Thursday, Department of Homeland Security Secretary Neville Silvers announced a bold new proposal aiming to address both border security and what officials termed “the deepening American longing for personal freedom.” The proposed Nationwide Pillow Fort Initiative would encourage citizens to erect protective, load-bearing pillow forts throughout their…
English 
Portuguese