Categoria: Politics
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Local Man Campaigns for City Council on Promise to Open Portal to Narnia in Abandoned Blockbuster
In a move that even his staunchest critics describe as “audaciously whimsical,” local man and self-proclaimed “Treasure Valley Visionary” Grant Thompson has officially launched his campaign for City Council. The central plank of his platform? A solemn, unwavering promise to convert the town’s derelict Blockbuster into a fully operational portal to Narnia. Thompson, a 38-year-old…
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Local Man Proudly Announces Plan to “Willfully Ignore Reality” for Rest of Election Season
In a groundbreaking move that has baffled both political analysts and his immediate family, local man Benjamin “Benji” Thompson has boldly declared his intention to willfully ignore reality for the remainder of the election season. The announcement was made from his living room recliner, where he has been cultivating a fortress of ignorance fortified by…
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Congress Holds Emergency Session to Debate Whether Pizza Is a Sandwich
In an unprecedented move signaling both legislative agility and culinary curiosity, Congress has convened an emergency session to deliberate what some are calling “the most pivotal gastronomic quandary of our time”: whether pizza qualifies as a sandwich. Lawmakers, temporarily suspending discourse on budget appropriations and foreign policy concerns, have devoted their attention to dissecting the…
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Political Strategists Announce Plans to Hold Campaign Rallies Exclusively in Swing State Waffle Houses
In a groundbreaking move that is sure to enthrall undecided voters and possibly clog their arteries, top political strategists have declared that future campaign rallies will exclusively be held in swing state Waffle Houses. This decision marks a decisive turn in American politics, as candidates hope to siphon votes from the syrup-splattered booths of these…
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Investigative Report Reveals Boris Johnson Is Just Donald Trump on a Windy Day
London, UK—In an unprecedented investigative report, journalists have unveiled that former UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson is, in fact, former US President Donald Trump experiencing a particularly unfortunate hair day. This revelation has sent shockwaves through political circles on both sides of the Atlantic.en.wikipedia.org+2en.wikipedia.org+2en.wikipedia.org+2 For years, political analysts have noted the striking similarities between Johnson…
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Putin Admits He Gets All Political News From Asmongold Reaction Videos
MOSCOW — In a shocking revelation that has left Kremlin watchers and geopolitical analysts reeling, Russian President Vladimir Putin admitted in a recent interview that he gets all of his political news from Twitch streamer Asmongold’s reaction videos. “Why would I waste time with CNN, BBC, or even Russian state media when I can get…
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