Australia Introduces $1,613 Penalty for Anyone Caught Admiring National Park Scenery Without Proper Permit

Canberra, AU – In a bid to better regulate the appreciation of Australia’s natural wonders, the Department of Environmental Revenue has unveiled a new $1,613 penalty for individuals found admiring national park scenery without the appropriate permit. The initiative, described by officials as “an essential harmonization of emotional regulation and civic responsibility,” is expected to take effect immediately across all 685 federally designated parks.

Under the new guidelines, park visitors must obtain a Level 3 Visual Engagement License (VEL-3) before gazing at or appearing to be moved by scenescapes rated “notable, breathtaking or transcendent” by the National Aesthetic Authority. Standard park entry passes will continue to permit hiking, picnicking, and disinterested walking, but any act of “unmediated admiration, including sighing, pointing, or moistening of eyes in response to geological features,” now requires advanced pre-clearance. According to Department spokesperson Marion Flapp, the licensing process includes a digital orientation video encouraging participants to neutralize their emotions through “thoughtful blinking and respectful monotones.”

Compliance officers—colloquially known as Wonder Wardens—have undergone a three-month training course in the detection of unauthorized agitation of the soul. “We’re not out to stop joy, just to manage it constructively,” explained regional warden Graeme Poole, after citing three college students for lingering near a eucalyptus overlook. “In one case, the subject’s pupils dilated by 0.4 centimeters when light hit the waterfall. That’s a clear infraction of Section 47B. We take that seriously.”

A recent government study found that spontaneous awe, if left untaxed, could result in an annual $19.7 million shortfall in projected gratitude revenues. The Ministry is equally concerned about the risk of “view hoarding,” with preliminary data indicating that nearly 28% of panorama-gazers remain rooted to spots longer than necessary, depriving others of regulated admiration slots. Officials are piloting QueueCalm, a mobile notification system gently reminding permit-holders when their prescribed viewing window has elapsed, sometimes ejecting them from the GPS zone with a motivational parable recited by a digital cockatoo.

Permit allocation remains uneven, with residents of rural Tasmania reporting that their requests for sunset glimpses are processed only after completing a 42-page inventory of prior feelings. Meanwhile, trial programs in Kakadu National Park include deployable “Selkie Screens”—opaque curtains unfurled across particularly stirring views whenever enthusiasm exceeds government thresholds. Efforts to introduce a “nostalgia surcharge” are ongoing, with analysts weighing whether childhood memories qualify as taxable awe.

While initial confusion has led to several accidental fines—such as an eight-year-old penalized for gazing longingly at a marsh—regulators insist the policy is a pragmatic step toward ensuring Australia’s scenic landscapes are distributed equitably and never, under any circumstances, enjoyed irresponsibly. The program is set for annual review, pending developments in neural dampening technology.