NIAMEY, Niger — Celebrations over Niger’s recent scientific “discovery” of a Mars rock in the remote Aïr Mountains came to a screeching halt this week, after an unpaid invoice labeled “Fake Moon Rock—Express Delivery” was found floating thirty feet above the local meteorite lab, apparently attached to the “martian” specimen with discount tape.
Just last month, Niger’s National Academy of Geological Occasions (NAGO) proudly announced it had found a rare sample from Mars, “identifiable by its deep redness and faint whiff of cosmic confidence.” State scientists hailed the pebble-sized artifact as “the missing link between Niger and interplanetary respect.”
But the tides shifted Monday, after housekeeping staff at NAGO observed an oddly buoyant envelope orbiting the lab’s main specimen tray. The envelope, from “Galax-E Gifts & Replicas, Shenzhen,” demanded payment of 78.95 USD “for one (1) ‘Authentic Faux Moon Rock for Educational or Space-Lover’s Use,’” with a late fee if not paid within 30 lunar cycles.
The once-proud “mars rock” bore a sticker reading “MOON REPLIKA MODEL, NOT FOR NASA MISSION,” hastily scribbled under with “probably from Mars?” in local dialect.
“We feel betrayed thrice: by gravity, by interplanetary trade regulations, and by our own vigorous outsourcing habits,” admitted Dr. Hamadi Attaher, who formally led the Mars In Every Backyard initiative. “Perhaps we got overly excited by the craters and minimal shipping costs.”
International experts have chimed in. “Mars rocks are notoriously difficult to come by, especially from eBay vendors with less than four stars,” said Dr. Maude Vreeland of the Global Space Authenticity Consortium. “In this case, it appears the only thing extraterrestrial was the invoice’s attempt to escape Earth’s atmosphere.”
The letdown has sent ripples through Niger’s mineral collector community, which abruptly postponed its annual Interplanetary Show-and-Tell. Attendance at geology classes plummeted by 72% after students realized “outer space could be faked for less than a dinner at KFC.” Local vendors reported a 400% spike in sales of “Ancient Martian Cheese Grater” souvenirs.
NAGO’s internal review has since revealed other questionable artifacts in its archive, including a “Venusian Crouton” and a “Genuine Area 51 Rain Gutter Fragment.” Guilt-stricken employees have been instructed to triple-check any new samples for “Made in China” holograms or stray QR codes.
“Trust, like moon rocks, is easily faked but hard to deliver,” said NAGO spokesperson Salifou Ba. “Let us be clear: we are committed to only buying from Mars-verified vendors in future. Or at least those who accept Western Union.”
At press time, the hovering invoice was last seen drifting toward the Ministry of Finance, no doubt searching for someone to finally settle accounts—literally and emotionally—with the cosmos.
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