Silicon Valley, CA – In an earth-shattering revelation, a new documentary has unveiled that billionaires Elon Musk and Kanye West have been discretely sharing custody of reality itself. The exposé, released on an obscure streaming platform no one claims to have subscribed to, delves into how the duo manages this immense responsibility through a series of meetings that take place in a seemingly interdimensional coffee shop located somewhere in Palo Alto.
According to the documentary, titled “Kanye and Elon: Regulating the Realm,” Musk and West hold bimonthly summits during which they decide what reality should prioritize. The latest meeting, insiders claim, implored humanity to fully embrace the idea of subterranean Mars habitable centers, cohabited by West-designed “YeezyPods.” Experts are baffled by the sudden societal shift towards tunnel burrowing and fashion-driven dwelling but accept it with the usual ceremonial shrug.
Dr. Nebulus Opinicus, a self-proclaimed Reality Engineer, was quoted saying, “In an unprecedented chronological synchronization, Musk and West have upended centuries of reality governance, traditionally handled by abstract forces like ‘common sense’ and ‘natural laws.’ Their shared custodianship implements norms through wi-fi signals and subconscious marketing.” He added that their influence on reality is practically seamless, except for occasional glitches like sudden bouts of existential confusion reported among ordinary citizens.
Interestingly, aside from their cosmic influence, the Musk-West custodial arrangement has emitted unexpected ripples throughout all levels of society. Everyday citizens are said to be struggling with deciphering false realities that include sporadic Kanye concerts held in their dreams or unsolicited Tesla Roadsters appearing in garages overnight, accompanied by user manuals written entirely in cryptic emojis.
Yet curiously, despite the unusual circumstances, governance bodies worldwide have openly welcomed the concept of privately managed reality governance. A spokesperson from the aptly named Committee for Unseen Regulations commented: “We’re just thrilled to outsource the burden of unimaginable complexity. These gentlemen are lost in realms of their own genius best suited to handle reality. Certainly beats bureaucracy.”
As with many modern phenomena, the ethics of reality sharing remain debatable. Authorities confirm no laws explicitly regulate such custodial specifics. Critics, however, point to the practical implications, such as internationally confusing time zones brought on by whimsically spontaneous global ‘Ye-lon’ time adjustments.
As the documentary concludes, it reassures viewers that the synergy between Musk’s engineering prowess and West’s artistic vision ensures a future where unfathomable lifestyle shifts become regular calendar events. The film ends on a pedestrian yet cryptic note: “Reality shared is reality spared.”
In the absence of global consensus on the matter, humanity seems resigned to the fact that the very fabric of existence is now no more reliable than a limited edition shoe drop or a high-speed rocket launch—to be anticipated and, hopefully, pre-ordered in advance.
Leave a Reply