NASHVILLE, TN — In a ceremony attended by several government officials, two confused tourists, and the world’s leading metaphysicist, the I-24 Oasis Truck Stop has been unanimously designated as America’s first National Landmark for Non-Existence. The honor recognizes the truck stop’s groundbreaking achievement: never having actually existed on the physical plane while somehow becoming wildly popular among weary interstate travelers.
“Truck stops that serve nothing, provide nothing, and are, in fact, nothing — that’s a uniquely American legacy,” declared U.S. Secretary of the Interior Marvin Blath. “It’s fitting that we finally immortalize this essential nowhere.”
The I-24 Oasis first appeared in 1984 on a faded interstate map, promising diesel fuel, chicken-fried steak, and “world-class showers.” Since then, it has accumulated over five million online reviews — almost all of which salute its infinite parking and the “haunting sense that nothing matters.” Yet, upon arrival at exit 142, motorists find only an empty median and the echo of a distant CB radio.
Dr. Valerie Mintz, professor of Non-Existent Infrastructure at Vanderbilt University, hails the truck stop as a “postmodern marvel.”
“It occupies a liminal space,” Mintz explained, gesturing at thin air beside a chain-link fence. “Legend says if you drive through at midnight, you can hear the faint beeping of slot machines that were never installed.”
Truckers nationwide regard I-24 Oasis as a mythic waypoint. “I’ve stopped there every run since ’96, but I’ve never seen it,” said long-haul driver Dusty Franklin. “Best invisible pies on the interstate. I always tip my imaginary waitress double.”
Last year, the Department of Transportation spent $6 million installing road signs for I-24 Oasis, topping a record previously held by Exit 13’s “Next Right: Disappointment.” According to a recent survey, 76% of Tennesseans have vivid memories of a lunch that did not, by any physical or legal definition, occur.
Nevertheless, the designation has sparked controversy. Competing truck stops along I-24 have threatened class-action lawsuits, citing “unfair advantages from not existing.” The National Register of Places We Reportedly Went Once is currently reviewing similar applications from an Arizona gas station visible only to dogs and a Nebraska rest area accessible via lucid dream.
Asked about future plans, the owners of I-24 Oasis, who have never been identified and may not exist, issued a statement read aloud by a local six-year-old: “Y’all come back now, or don’t, whatever feels real to you.”
As for next steps, the National Park Service is commissioning commemorative postcards featuring a stunning photo of empty asphalt. Tourists are urged to visit soon — or at least to say they did.
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