WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a bold move that White House officials are calling “an innovative merger of social work and historiography,” the federal government today announced the launch of its Relocation for Historical Context Initiative, which seeks to house the nation’s homeless population inside the National Archives building alongside such hallowed documents as the Constitution and the Magna Carta (on loan).
“At the Department of Housing and Urban Development, we were brainstorming ways to both preserve history and shelter the vulnerable,” said HUD spokesperson Marjorie Lint. “Why not bring American stories together under one stately neoclassical roof? We get to honor the Constitution, and people get to stop sleeping on the sidewalk. That’s synergy.”
The initiative, set to debut this summer, will see upwards of 16,400 unsheltered individuals moved into the marble halls of the National Archives. White House Press Secretary Devin Melman explained that the decision was the result of a 14-month study by the bipartisan Committee for the Placement of Troubling Realities, which found that “placing the present crisis right next to the Bill of Rights will provide the full, lived context that students on field trips have been missing.”
“If our founding fathers wanted us to ignore modern hardship, they would have written it on the back of the Declaration,” said Melman. “This is about transparency.”
National Archivist Florence Crumb, who will be tasked with overseeing the cohabitation of parchment and people, expressed cautious optimism. “America’s history is not just old documents in metal cases; it’s alive, and sometimes it smells like bourbon and wet socks,” Crumb said. “We’ll do whatever we can to celebrate that.”
Critics have raised concerns about logistics. Dr. Cornelius Hahn, a historian at George Washington University, warned of confusion on school trips: “Will today’s fourth graders be able to differentiate between the Emancipation Proclamation and a man asking if they can spare change for the vending machine?” Hahn asked, before conceding: “On the other hand, it’s arguably the most accurate living history exhibit possible.”
Safety, too, has been considered in meticulous detail. Special glass cases will be installed for the more sensitive historical artifacts, and according to internal documents, “The designated sleeping area will be between the War of 1812 exhibit and the air-conditioned room housing James Madison’s tiny spectacles.” Free guided tours will now include the “Contemporary Struggles Alcove,” featuring bedsheets and several heavily-annotated copies of the DMV’s vehicle registration forms.
Statistical models suggest that student engagement with history will increase by “at least 240%,” while the risk of “accidentally recycling the Magna Carta” is expected to stay within acceptable parameters.
President Biden, who made homelessness and history two of his top 27 priorities, praised the plan: “This is a step toward acknowledging the complexity of America. Sometimes, to really smell our past, you have to experience our present. Or vice versa. Either way, it’s a win-win.”
The first residents are set to move in next month, as soon as the Archives staff has documented, laminated, and alphabetized their personal stories for posterity. As one new occupant put it, “I always wanted to make history—I just didn’t know history was going to make room for me.”
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