In a bold stride toward administrative inclusion, the state of Bihar announced yesterday that all emotional support animals are now legally required to file annual tax returns, “in accordance with their emotional responsibilities and taxable wag income.”
The new measure comes as part of “Project Equitable Accountability,” a sweeping reform aimed at ensuring what officials describe as “tax parity for the service-oriented multitudes.” The law applies to dogs, cats, peacocks, emotional support capybaras, and—pending a Supreme Court challenge—angsty goldfish.
State Revenue Secretary Anil Prakasha explained the reform at a crowded press conference: “For too long, emotional support animals have provided significant labor—soothing, nuzzling, sometimes licking tears—without contributing their fair share to public finances. Their intangible assets must now be tangibly assessed. Emotional labor, as the IRS tells us, is very much a line item.”
To facilitate compliance, the government has set up the nation’s first Animal Return Filing Portal (ARFP), featuring a paw-print authentication process, drop-down menus for breed and emotional burden, and a help chatbot named “Auditoria the Otter” that offers advice, encouragement, and—allegedly—a judgmental huff if forms are incomplete.
“Pawsitive regulation is the way forward,” said financial consultant Dr. Neelam Jain, who specializes in Pet Economics. “We estimate that over 47% of emotional support animals currently operate in the informal cuddle economy. By transitioning to formal taxation, Bihar can raise up to ₹13 lakh in belly-rub royalties alone. It’s a newer, fluffier GST.”
Lobbyists for the All-India Pets’ Union (AIPU) responded with mixed enthusiasm and trepidation. “Our iguanas have always been self-employed,” said spokesperson Tanmoy Dutta. “But now there is concern over audit risks for canines who, let’s be honest, have a documented history of consuming financial documents.”
Concerns have also been raised regarding enforcement. The Bihar Revenue Service has hired 212 animal tax collectors (many with backgrounds in animal husbandry and light nuzzling) to ensure compliance. Their duties include door-to-door chime-ringing, gentle whistling, and the use of treat-based incentives to encourage timely return filing.
In rural areas, confusion abounds. “Last night, Rocky chewed up his TDS certificate,” sighs farmer Ramesh Mishra, clutching a crumpled mass of saliva-speckled paper. “The CA told me the extension deadline only applies to ‘service humans.’ Now they say the family goat must claim depreciation on emotional baggage?”
Meanwhile, opposition politicians condemned the scheme as “taxation without representation.” “Most of these animals can’t even read their Section 80C exemptions,” said MLA Rashmi Pandey, petting a budget-conscious turtle. “This is an affront to the pawlitical process. Next, they’ll tax their dreams.”
Despite the controversy, the government remained resolute. “If you want recognition as a dependent with benefits, you must fulfill your duties as a responsible emotional citizen,” insisted Prakasha, as his own support llama shred a Form 26AS behind him. “It’s a new dawn for Bihar. And perhaps, for accountability.”
As the deadline for filing closes in, animal shelters report a sudden spike in anxious cats learning Excel, and at least one parrot has been overheard muttering, “Deductibles! Deductibles!” The future, after all, belongs to the emotionally solvent.
Leave a Reply