KYOTO, JAPAN — After years of anticipation and a marketing campaign built almost entirely on interpretive dance and vague silhouettes, Nintendo has officially released the Switch 2, the next-generation console that promises to redefine the gaming experience, or at the very least, clarify none of it.
“This is the most advanced system we’ve ever created,” said Nintendo President Shuntaro Furukawa during Thursday’s launch event. “The Wii U 2 will usher in a new era of hybrid gameplay—sorry, the Switch 2. The Switch 2 will.”
The console boasts modest hardware improvements, including a brighter screen, marginally faster load times, and a new “sleepier gray” color option. The Joy-Con controllers have been redesigned to be “even less ergonomic” in what Nintendo calls a “return to form.”
According to the company, the Switch 2 supports all original Switch games, except when docked, connected to Wi-Fi, or played outside Japan.
“It’s not just about specs,” said Furukawa, gently cradling the Wii U 2. “It’s about how the console makes you feel. Lost. Curious. Slightly betrayed.”
The launch lineup includes a robust selection of titles, such as:
- Mario Party: Warranty Void Edition
- The Legend of Zelda: Recycle the Wild
- Splatoon 4: Still Ink?
A new online service, NintendoNet Ultra, was also unveiled. For $14.99/month, players can access online multiplayer, cloud saves, and a vintage 2006 chatroom simulator powered by Miiverse.
Critics have so far offered lukewarm praise. Kotaku described the console as “a bold sideways step,” while IGN’s review was titled simply: “Wait, Didn’t We Do This Already?”
The Switch 2’s packaging also raised eyebrows, with one box labeled “Switch U,” another labeled “2nd Switch,” and a third just marked “Project Redemption.” When asked for clarification, Nintendo issued a press release that read only: “You’ll get it later.”
Despite the confusion, fans lined up outside stores to secure their copies of the Wii U 2 on launch day. “I’ve been following this console since the first teaser,” said longtime fan Alyssa Kim. “I don’t know why, but holding it just makes me want to apologize to my Wii U.”
At press time, Nintendo announced that a hardware revision, the Switch 2 Plus, will be released this holiday season featuring one extra port, a longer charging cable, and slightly improved emotional closure.
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