Los Angeles, CA – In an unprecedented turn of events, last night’s episode of “Jeopardy!” was interrupted as contestants took to the stage to resolve a pressing custody battle that has bewildered the fanbase: Who, exactly, is the rightful guardian of Alex Trebek’s ghost?
The dispute began during the second round, shortly after the category “Unlikely Haunted Places” was announced. Contestant Nigel Waffingham, a PhD candidate in Paranormal Communications at the University of Southern North Dakota, buzzed in with an unexpected declaration. “I’m sorry, but I must insist we address the custody rights to Alex Trebek’s spiritual whereabouts,” Waffingham proclaimed, causing host Mayim Bialik’s well-rehearsed affability to flicker momentarily.
According to Waffingham, a complicated posthumous directive was dictated by the spirit of Trebek through a particularly convincing Ouija board session at the Pasadena Psychic Fiesta. “Alex clearly wished to have his ghost managed by an entity capable of maintaining his unparalleled aura of trivia supremacy,” he explained, asserting his academic qualifications as undeniable proof of his ghost-hosting capabilities.
Competing contestants Linda Grindle, a homemaker from Tallahassee, and Bob Brisket, a professional trivia enthusiast from Chicago, quickly countered with their own claims of spectral stewardship. Grindle cited her extensive collection of “Jeopardy!” memorabilia, including a proprietary “Trebek Replica Moustache Kit,” as evidence of her commitment to honoring the host. Meanwhile, Brisket argued that his ability to recite every episode’s Final Jeopardy question and answer pairing without falter made him the logical choice.
Expert opinions on the matter are divided. Dr. Hermione Spooky, a leading figure in ethereal legalities, commented, “The responsibility of managing a ghost is a weighty one, particularly a figure as iconic as Trebek. It requires more than just devotion; it demands a significant understanding of spectral jurisprudence, which is unfortunately not widely taught.”
Corporate representatives from the show have yet to verify the legality of claiming a ghostly host, but have endeavored to placate the contestants by forming the Ghost-Adoption Bureau for Quizzical Hosts (GABQH), which will mediate future spectral claims by verifying spiritual Wishlist conditions, provenance of spectral reports, and aura compatibility.
Surprisingly, the American Syndicate of Game Show Hosts (ASGSH) expressed concerns that allowing contestants to claim game show host ghosts might set a perilous precedent. “Today it’s Trebek,” lamented ASGSH President Penny Fizzle, “tomorrow it could be Pat Sajak. Where do we draw the line between spirited enthusiasm and spectral poaching?”
The episode concluded without a final winner as all three contestants reluctantly agreed to a ghost-host custody sharing arrangement until further notice. The audience was left unaware, now questioning if “Jeopardy!” itself is haunted and whether their favorite category—“Potent Potables”—was a cryptic nod to ectoplasmic concoctions all along.
As for Trebek’s ghost, outcomes remain unseen. Critics suggest the episode’s bizarre turn of events may have rattled even the most steadfast fans, with some vowing to launch podcasts documenting potential supernatural sightings during reruns. Others, preferring to let the matter rest in peace, encourage the preservation of trivia integrity—without the need for hauntings in the mix.
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