{"id":92,"date":"2025-06-27T03:28:24","date_gmt":"2025-06-27T03:28:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/fraudulenttimes.com\/?p=92"},"modified":"2025-06-27T03:28:24","modified_gmt":"2025-06-27T03:28:24","slug":"javascript-introduces-to-ensure-absolute-equality-promises-pure-uncut-truth-by-2027","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fraudulenttimes.com\/pt\/javascript-introduces-to-ensure-absolute-equality-promises-pure-uncut-truth-by-2027\/","title":{"rendered":"JavaScript Introduces &#8216;====&#8217; to Ensure Absolute Equality, Promises &#8216;Pure, Uncut Truth&#8217; by 2027"},"content":{"rendered":"<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">SILICON VALLEY, CA \u2014 In its ongoing quest to eliminate any remaining traces of developer confidence, the JavaScript Standards Committee announced this week the upcoming release of a new equality operator: <code>====<\/code>, which it describes as &#8220;like <code>===<\/code>, but more honest about your disappointment.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">&#8220;The <code>==<\/code> operator was a mistake. We admit that,&#8221; said ECMAScript spokesperson Dr. Clarissa Bracknell, speaking from a rotating beanbag chair at this year\u2019s DevCon 2025. &#8220;Then we introduced <code>===<\/code> to pretend we fixed it. But now, with <code>====<\/code>, we\u2019re cutting the crap. This one\u2019s emotionally equal too.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">While <code>==<\/code> allows for type coercion\u2014infamously making <code>\"5\" == 5<\/code> evaluate to true\u2014<code>===<\/code> compares both value and type. The new <code>====<\/code> operator, however, goes further by comparing value, type, upbringing, browser history, and whether both variables attended the same coding bootcamp.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cJavaScript has always been about surprises,\u201d said Bracknell. \u201cLike surprise bugs, surprise behaviors, and surprise job interviews where someone asks if <code>[] == ![]<\/code> is true and you black out from rage.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Developers, predictably, greeted the news with confusion, anger, and eventual resignation\u2014emotions JavaScript engineers are encouraged to express through memes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cI already have trust issues from my parents. Now I need to explain to my intern that <code>null == undefined<\/code> is true, <code>null === undefined<\/code> is false, and soon <code>null ==== undefined<\/code> will throw a runtime error <em>and<\/em> call your therapist,\u201d said senior frontend developer Marcus Ho, shortly before pivoting to woodwork.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">According to draft documentation, the <code>====<\/code> operator will also log the comparison to a public blockchain for &#8220;equality transparency&#8221; and require user consent via pop-up before evaluating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">When asked what comes after <code>====<\/code>, committee insiders hinted at the possibility of <code>=====<\/code> (&#8220;equal in spirit&#8221;) and eventually <code>~==<\/code> (&#8220;quantum equality&#8221;)\u2014a comparison that returns true, false, or a cat, depending on observation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Meanwhile, Python developers watching from the sidelines were reportedly &#8220;smug as hell.&#8221;<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>SILICON VALLEY, CA \u2014 In its ongoing quest to eliminate any remaining traces of developer confidence, the JavaScript Standards Committee announced this week the upcoming release of a new equality operator: ====, which it describes as &#8220;like ===, but more honest about your disappointment.&#8221; &#8220;The == operator was a mistake. We admit that,&#8221; said ECMAScript [&hellip;]<\/p>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[22],"tags":[296,302,300,297,299,301,303,294,298,295],"class_list":["post-92","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-technology","tag-code-equality","tag-developer-humor","tag-ecmascript","tag-frontend-development","tag-javascript","tag-programming-satire","tag-software-engineering","tag-tech-absurdity","tag-triple-equals","tag-type-coercion"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/fraudulenttimes.com\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/92","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/fraudulenttimes.com\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/fraudulenttimes.com\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fraudulenttimes.com\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fraudulenttimes.com\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=92"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/fraudulenttimes.com\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/92\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":93,"href":"https:\/\/fraudulenttimes.com\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/92\/revisions\/93"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/fraudulenttimes.com\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=92"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fraudulenttimes.com\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=92"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fraudulenttimes.com\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=92"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}