{"id":1614,"date":"2025-09-16T22:08:30","date_gmt":"2025-09-17T03:08:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/fraudulenttimes.com\/?p=1614"},"modified":"2025-09-16T22:08:30","modified_gmt":"2025-09-17T03:08:30","slug":"george-santos-unveils-new-lawsuit-against-reality-for-slandering-his-fictional-universe","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fraudulenttimes.com\/pt\/george-santos-unveils-new-lawsuit-against-reality-for-slandering-his-fictional-universe\/","title":{"rendered":"George Santos Unveils New Lawsuit Against Reality for Slandering His Fictional Universe"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>Albany, NY \u2013<\/strong> Former Representative George Santos filed a sweeping lawsuit against \u201cobjective reality\u201d on Thursday, citing alleged \u201cdeliberate misrepresentation and malicious slander\u201d of the alternate universe in which he says he achieves most of his accomplishments. The 147-page brief, hand-delivered to the Albany County Court in a manila folder covered in glitter, names Reality itself as the principal defendant, though subsequent pages also cite Time, Space, and the Law of Non-Contradiction as co-conspirators.<\/p>\n<p>According to Santos\u2019 attorney, Stanislas \u201cStan\u201d Duvet, the suit seeks \u201cinjunctive relief and reputational restoration\u201d for Santos\u2019s meticulously developed, privately-held universe, where he is currently recognized as a Nobel laureate, three-term governor, and eight-time winner of the Westminster Dog Show. \u201cReality\u2019s insistence on only documenting Mr. Santos\u2019s corporeal existence has led to demonstrable damage to his imaginary legacy, including the loss of hypothetical endorsements, honorary doctorates, and at least one Pegasus,\u201d Duvet told reporters.<\/p>\n<p>Officials at the New York State Judiciary expressed confusion over the nature of the plaintiff\u2019s claims. A sternly worded memorandum from the Office of the Court Clerk, entitled \u201cRe: Santos v. Ontology,\u201d admits the court is unaccustomed to disputes with metaphysical constructs but promised to assign a bailiff to ensure Reality\u2019s timely appearance. In a phone briefing, Chief Clerk Martha Pinter said, \u201cWhile the court has previously ruled on matters involving alternate facts, this is the first instance where we have been asked to subpoena Existence itself. We are consulting with our office philosopher.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Sources close to the matter indicate the court may consider live testimony from both Mr. Santos and his fictional parallel self, to be conducted simultaneously in adjacent chambers, lest causality be unduly perturbed. Santos has already submitted over seven hundred pages of evidence, including campaign flyers from universes Zeta-4 through Beta-Kappa, a handwritten musical score for his alleged Broadway debut, and a letter of recommendation from Chief Justice John Jay\u2019s animated skeleton.<\/p>\n<p>Experts remain divided on the merits of the case. Dr. Felicia Lint, Chair of the Committee on Legal Unreality, described the suit as \u201cunprecedented but not entirely unthinkable.\u201d She added, \u201cMore and more, we are seeing public figures pursue recognition in the face of strenuous opposition from the widely observable world.\u201d Meanwhile, the defense\u2014Reality\u2014has made no public statements, though records reflect that it remains manifest as usual. <\/p>\n<p>The court is scheduled to hear opening arguments Wednesday, provided the building does not collapse into paradox. Observers express cautious optimism that a resolution may be reached before any further cosmological disruptions occur. At press time, Reality could not be reached for comment, though it continued to behave, by all available accounts, according to its established laws.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Albany, NY \u2013 Former Representative George Santos filed a sweeping lawsuit against \u201cobjective reality\u201d on Thursday, citing alleged \u201cdeliberate misrepresentation and malicious slander\u201d of the alternate universe in which he says he achieves most of his accomplishments. The 147-page brief, hand-delivered to the Albany County Court in a manila folder covered in glitter, names Reality [&hellip;]<\/p>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1613,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4720,7322,131],"tags":[7464,7463,7465,93],"class_list":["post-1614","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-government","category-philosophy","category-politics","tag-george","tag-political","tag-santos","tag-satire"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/fraudulenttimes.com\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1614","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/fraudulenttimes.com\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/fraudulenttimes.com\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fraudulenttimes.com\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fraudulenttimes.com\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1614"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/fraudulenttimes.com\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1614\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1615,"href":"https:\/\/fraudulenttimes.com\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1614\/revisions\/1615"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fraudulenttimes.com\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1613"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/fraudulenttimes.com\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1614"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fraudulenttimes.com\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1614"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fraudulenttimes.com\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1614"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}