{"id":1578,"date":"2025-09-15T22:11:43","date_gmt":"2025-09-16T03:11:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/fraudulenttimes.com\/?p=1578"},"modified":"2025-09-15T22:11:43","modified_gmt":"2025-09-16T03:11:43","slug":"pam-bondi-declares-left-wing-radicals-invented-gravity-demands-immediate-repeal-for-the-sake-of-america","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fraudulenttimes.com\/pt\/pam-bondi-declares-left-wing-radicals-invented-gravity-demands-immediate-repeal-for-the-sake-of-america\/","title":{"rendered":"Pam Bondi Declares Left-Wing Radicals Invented Gravity, Demands Immediate Repeal for the Sake of America"},"content":{"rendered":"

Tallahassee, FL \u2013<\/strong> Former Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi announced in a tense morning press conference that gravity, commonly understood as a natural force, was in fact engineered by “left-wing radicals” as part of a centuries-old plot to keep America subdued. Flanked by members of the Heritage Task Force on Scientific Liberties, Bondi called for the immediate repeal of gravity, asserting that \u201cit anchors the American spirit to the ground and stifles free enterprise.\u201d<\/p>\n

Bondi\u2019s remarks follow weeks of mounting concerns in conservative circles over what is now being called \u201cthe Big Gravity Hoax.\u201d She cited a recent white paper published by the American Center for Objective Physics, which traced the earliest documentation of gravity to \u201cforeign ideologues\u201d including Isaac Newton, whose apple incident she claimed was \u201cstaged\u201d with the help of \u201cEuropean minimalist performance artists.\u201d \u201cWe were told apples fall,\u201d Bondi declared, \u201cbut who decided falling was patriotic?\u201d<\/p>\n

Lawmakers supporting Bondi\u2019s initiative have introduced the Liberate the Mass Act, seeking to \u201cnullify gravitational suppression\u201d within U.S. borders. According to sponsor Rep. Cal Weston (R-FL), the bill directs NASA, FEMA, and participating school bus drivers to \u201cimmediately initiate anti-gravity directives in all federal districts.\u201d Weston elaborated that enforcement measures will include the distribution of lead boots and the temporary suspension of all rolling objects, including marbles and rotisserie chickens. The Congressional Office of Weights and Measures estimates the unfastening of gravity could boost GDP by \u201cpotentially infinite\u201d percentages, once businesses learn to stack inventory vertically against the sky.<\/p>\n

While several physicists have publicly expressed concerns, the administration has moved quickly to establish the Federal Office of Gravitational Ethics. Spokesperson Dr. Chad Mendel claimed that citizens who refuse to participate in anti-gravity zones would be offered voluntary \u201ctethering support packages,\u201d including ropes, sandbags, and something described only as \u201cweighted hope.\u201d \u201cRemember, it\u2019s not a law of nature, it\u2019s a leftist suggestion,\u201d Mendel explained via semaphore from a rescue cherry picker after toppling out of his office window.<\/p>\n

Opponents question the immediate practicality of repealing gravity, noting preliminary trials in Fort Myers led to unpredictable results, including the formation of airborne traffic jams and the sudden migration of neighborhood dogs toward the moon. Some House staffers now wear protective helmets, while the Postmaster General has requested congressional exemption, citing the consistent dispersal of mail in all upward directions as \u201coperationally challenging.\u201d<\/p>\n

Despite these complications, Bondi remains steadfast. \u201cAmerica was built on the laws of liberty, not those of motion,\u201d she concluded. The Department of Transportation has advised all citizens to remain calm, hold tight to stationary objects, and await further guidance from the new Office of No-Force Compliance, whose first newsletter drifted into the upper atmosphere late Thursday.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Tallahassee, FL \u2013 Former Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi announced in a tense morning press conference that gravity, commonly understood as a natural force, was in fact engineered by “left-wing radicals” as part of a centuries-old plot to keep America subdued. Flanked by members of the Heritage Task Force on Scientific Liberties, Bondi called for […]<\/p>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1577,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[356],"tags":[7440,7441,7439],"class_list":["post-1578","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-culture","tag-former-florida-attorney","tag-general-pam-bondi","tag-tallahassee"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/fraudulenttimes.com\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1578","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/fraudulenttimes.com\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/fraudulenttimes.com\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fraudulenttimes.com\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fraudulenttimes.com\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1578"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/fraudulenttimes.com\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1578\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1579,"href":"https:\/\/fraudulenttimes.com\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1578\/revisions\/1579"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fraudulenttimes.com\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1577"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/fraudulenttimes.com\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1578"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fraudulenttimes.com\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1578"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fraudulenttimes.com\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1578"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}