Tag: renewable resources
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EPA Quietly Approves Stomach-in-Mouth Discharge as Renewable Energy Source
WASHINGTON—In a move hailed by vomit enthusiasts and renewable energy investors alike, the Environmental Protection Agency discreetly approved the use of stomach-in-mouth discharge—commonly known as “throw-up”—as a clean, renewable energy source earlier this week. The policy change, buried on page 448 of a 600-page environmental impact report, is already sending ripples through both the energy…
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Breaking News: Nation Breathes Sigh of Relief as Futile Hope Officially Declared Renewable Resource
In a landmark move that has sent ripples through both the scientific community and the general public, the Department of Energy announced today that futile hope has been officially classified as a renewable resource. The decision comes after exhaustive studies verified that the supply of futile hope is not only limitless but also self-regenerating, often…
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