Tag: Political Satire
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White House Installs Anonymous Suggestion Box That Only Sends Feedback To Trump’s Bathroom Mirror
Washington, D.C. – In an unprecedented move to foster increased transparency and direct communication, the White House has installed an anonymous suggestion box with a unique purpose: all feedback will be projected directly onto the bathroom mirror of former President Donald Trump. This cutting-edge initiative is part of the newly unveiled “Reflective Governance Program,” a…
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Governor Announces Plan to Uproot Public Trust and Replant It in More Convenient Location
Albany, NY – In an unprecedented move to rejuvenate the state’s political landscape, Governor Edith Caldwell announced a bold initiative to uproot the deeply-entrenched public trust and relocate it to a more central and convenient location. The governor, addressing the press outside the state capitol, assured citizens that the relocation would allow for easier access…
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Congressional Committee Accidentally Declares Imaginary Pregnancy Robot a Citizen, Now Entitled to Run for Office
Washington, D.C. – In what is being described as a “minor legislative oversight,” a recent congressional committee inadvertently granted U.S. citizenship to an imaginary pregnancy robot during a routine filibuster about the future of artificial intelligence. Lawmakers remained unperturbed by this administrative error until it was discovered that this newly-minted citizen, referred to as “Gestation…
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Prank-Calling Cockatoo Elected to Local Office After Promising to ‘Shake Things Up’
Nashville, TN – In a stunning political upset likely to raise feathers across the nation, a cockatoo named Sir Chattersworth III has been elected to the city council of Nashville after running a maverick campaign on a platform of shaking things up by any means necessary — including his infamous, ear-rattling expertise in prank calls.…
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Pakistan Army Chief Swears on Stack of Constitutions to Uphold Fiction of Civilian Government Stability
RAWALPINDI, PAKISTAN – In a landmark ceremony held underneath the ornate chandelier of the Hall of Encloaked Legitimacy, Pakistan’s newly appointed Army Chief, General Markable Worthmantle, solemnly swore on a towering stack of pristine, albeit untouched, Pakistani constitutions to uphold the cherished fiction of a stable civilian government. The event was attended by a cross-section…
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Pakistani Government Announces New Law Mandating Public Confusion Over Every Leadership Statement
ISLAMABAD — In a groundbreaking move described by critics as both baffling and redundant, the Pakistani government officially declared a new law requiring all citizens to experience mandatory confusion following every statement made by the country’s leaders. The “Consistent Cognitive Dissonance Act” was unanimously approved by the National Assembly late Tuesday evening. The law mandates…
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Historic First: White House Fight Night to Feature Cage Match Between Policy Promises and Actual Legislation
In an unprecedented move aimed at increasing government transparency, the White House announced Tuesday that it will host its first-ever “Fight Night,” a nationally televised cage match pitting unfulfilled policy promises against the realities of actual legislation. The historic event is scheduled to take place next Friday in the East Room, which press secretary Carla…
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India Prepares Strategic Initiative to Build Dams Over Pakistan’s Sense of Humor
In an unprecedented move this week, Indian authorities have announced a comprehensive infrastructure project aimed at constructing a series of metaphorical dams over what remains of Pakistan’s sense of humor, citing “recurring floods of oversensitivity” as a regional threat to security and mutual understanding. “We can no longer ignore the torrents of outrage every time…
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Former National Security Advisor Claims Nuclear Threats Just Elaborate Plot for Attention, Recommends Sending Flowers
WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a surprising reversal of decades-long foreign policy doctrine, former National Security Advisor Mallory Kent revealed Monday that nuclear threats issued by various world leaders are, according to her, “just elaborate ploys for attention,” and suggested that the international community could “de-escalate tensions by sending a nice bouquet, maybe some tulips or something seasonal.”…
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National Guard Briefly Activated to Supervise President’s Golf Game, Declares Victory Over Sand Trap Crisis
In an unprecedented display of resolve Saturday morning, the National Guard briefly deployed a full battalion to President Weldon’s favorite golf course to ensure the safe and dignified execution of his 27th “Executive Golf & Governance Summit.” By 10:23 a.m., following a tense standoff at the 14th-hole sand trap, victory was triumphantly declared over what…
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