Tag: Pentagon
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Pentagon Launches New Press Freedom Initiative: Journalists Now Allowed to Report What They’re Told Not to Know
Washington, D.C. – In a move hailed as a triumph for transparency, the Department of Defense today unveiled its new Press Freedom Initiative, formally permitting accredited journalists to report on information they are explicitly instructed not to possess. Pentagon spokesperson Maj. Alice Farthing issued a statement lauding the program as “a revitalization of core American…
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Pentagon Unveils Revolutionary New Strategy: Cardboard Forts to Confuse Enemy Drones
In a groundbreaking advance in modern warfare, the Pentagon has announced a new strategic initiative aimed at confusing enemy drones: the construction of intricate cardboard forts. The initiative, dubbed “Operation Box Defense,” is set to revolutionize battlefield tactics by introducing thousands of strategically placed cardboard forts across key military zones. The decision comes after months…
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Pentagon Unveils Revolutionary Defense Strategy of Painting Enemy Lines Over New Headquarters Location
In an unprecedented move, the Pentagon has unveiled a groundbreaking defense strategy that involves painting enemy lines over the new headquarters location, effectively confusing any potential threats into believing they have already conquered the facility. This bold initiative comes as part of a broader effort to modernize military tactics by incorporating elements of abstract expressionism…
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