Tag: Jeff Bezos
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Bezos Unveils New Space Tourism Package: Experience Zero Gravity and Soul-Crushing Inauthenticity Simultaneously
Jeff Bezos has announced his latest endeavor in the space tourism industry: a cutting-edge package designed to offer passengers the exhilarating experience of defying gravity while simultaneously encountering levels of insincerity heretofore only seen at corporate team-building retreats. The package promises to catapult Amazon’s authenticity-averse reputation into the outer stratosphere. The “Zero Gravity, No Reality”…
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Amazon Announces New Tombstone-Side Delivery Service for Customers Who Can’t Even Anymore
SEATTLE, WA — In its latest attempt to ensure same-day delivery, Amazon has unveiled Prime Eternal, a new tombstone-side delivery service allowing deceased Prime members to continue receiving packages post-mortem. The service, already in beta testing across select cemeteries in Florida and Arizona, promises to bring “unprecedented convenience to the permanently stationary.” According to Amazon…
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