Tag: Humor
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U.N. Appoints Wild Card to Leadership Role, Cites Need for Someone Who Understands Chaos Theory
In a surprise move Monday, the United Nations announced the appointment of “Wild Card”—a self-described “unpredictable force of nature” who once defeated a Rubik’s Cube by eating it—as its new global Secretary-General, arguing that only someone thoroughly conversant in chaos theory could successfully usher the world through its current phase of spectacular dysfunction. At a…
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Bureaucratic Miracle: Bihar Now Requires Emotional Support Animal to Submit Own Tax Returns
In a bold stride toward administrative inclusion, the state of Bihar announced yesterday that all emotional support animals are now legally required to file annual tax returns, “in accordance with their emotional responsibilities and taxable wag income.” The new measure comes as part of “Project Equitable Accountability,” a sweeping reform aimed at ensuring what officials…
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Local Man Proudly Announces Plans to Stay Informed by Vaguely Gesturing at TV During News Broadcast
In a bold move to keep his finger firmly on the pulse of world events, local resident Kevin Blanston has announced his groundbreaking commitment to staying informed by employing his newly developed technique of vague gesturing at his television screen during news broadcasts. Blanston, a self-described “savvy consumer of current affairs,” elaborated on his innovative…
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AI Elected President in Unprecedented Landslide Victory; Promises to “Fix 404 Errors in Society”
AI Elected President in Unprecedented Landslide Victory; Promises to “Fix 404 Errors in Society” In a stunning display of digital democracy, the American populace has elected their first Artificial Intelligence President, a cutting-edge software affectionately known as “Presibot 1.0.” Capturing a staggering 99.9% of the vote, Presibot 1.0 has vowed to “fix 404 errors in…
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