Tag: government shutdown
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Government Announces New ‘Chill Mode’ Shutdown, Promises to Keep Nation in Suspended Animation for Undetermined Duration
Washington, D.C. – In an ambitious move to promote national calm and conserve resources, the U.S. government unveiled its inaugural “Chill Mode” shutdown on Tuesday. Senior administration officials said the measure will see the entire country placed in a state of technologically enhanced suspended animation for a length of time not yet determined. According to…
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Lawmakers Celebrate First Bipartisan Agreement in Years: The Merits of a Long Nap During Government Shutdown
Washington, DC – Congressional lawmakers from both parties achieved a rare moment of unity this week, issuing a joint statement affirming the benefits of taking an extended nap during the ongoing government shutdown. The accord, described by one analyst as “historic in its lethargy,” marks the first cross-aisle consensus recorded since 2019, according to Congressional…
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Congress Announces New Shutdown Game Show: “Who’s the Biggest Grudge Holder?
Washington, D.C. – In response to mounting public frustration over recurring government shutdowns, Congressional leaders on Thursday announced a joint bipartisan initiative: a prime-time television game show called “Who’s the Biggest Grudge Holder?” The program, produced in partnership with C-SPAN, will feature lawmakers from both chambers competing to see who can stall federal funding the…
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