Tag: Financial Satire
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Global Markets Brace for Impact as U.S. Politicians Play Chicken with Economic Armageddon, Confident No One Will Blink
Washington, D.C. – Global markets entered a period of heightened volatility Tuesday after U.S. lawmakers escalated their ongoing standoff over the nation’s debt ceiling, repeatedly assuring anxious investors that “absolutely nobody will blink” and “economic armageddon is probably not that bad anyway.” Major indices seesawed throughout the day while world leaders watched what analysts are…
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Bureaucratic Miracle: Bihar Now Requires Emotional Support Animal to Submit Own Tax Returns
In a bold stride toward administrative inclusion, the state of Bihar announced yesterday that all emotional support animals are now legally required to file annual tax returns, “in accordance with their emotional responsibilities and taxable wag income.” The new measure comes as part of “Project Equitable Accountability,” a sweeping reform aimed at ensuring what officials…
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New Tax Code Reduces Forms by Simply Merging Nation’s Income with National Debt
WASHINGTON—In a sweeping simplification that officials praised as “both elegant and inevitable,” the federal government on Thursday unveiled a new tax code that reduces paperwork by combining every American’s income with the national debt into a single, all-purpose number that nobody has to look at ever again. “For years, taxpayers have pleaded with us to…
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