Tag: civic engagement
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Voters and Officers Join Forces in Collective Cardio Session as Politician’s Campaign Route Becomes Spontaneous Marathon
Allentown, PA – In a surprising turn of events during Saturday’s municipal campaign circuit, incumbent City Council candidate Marjorie Halven’s stroll through downtown rapidly escalated into an impromptu mass marathon lasting nearly six consecutive hours. Initial reports confirm that over 600 city residents, accompanied by a detachment of uniformed officers, participated in the unforeseen athletic…
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Governor Announces Plan to Uproot Public Trust and Replant It in More Convenient Location
Albany, NY – In an unprecedented move to rejuvenate the state’s political landscape, Governor Edith Caldwell announced a bold initiative to uproot the deeply-entrenched public trust and relocate it to a more central and convenient location. The governor, addressing the press outside the state capitol, assured citizens that the relocation would allow for easier access…
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Federal Grant Program Accidentally Funds Full-Contact Chess League for Seventh Consecutive Year
For the seventh consecutive year, a clerical error in the Department of Civic Engagement’s grant distribution has funneled $2.3 million into the National Full-Contact Chess League, a sporting association best known for its signature “Bishops and Bruises” tournament and mandatory mouthguards. The misallocation, first uncovered in a 2018 audit, has persisted despite repeated assurances from…
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