Tag: astrology
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Arsenal Midfielder Now Legally Required to Consult Horoscope Before Engaging in Post-Match Interviews
London, UK – In an unprecedented move that has left both football and astrology communities abuzz, Arsenal’s star midfielder, Thomas Pendleton, is now legally obliged to consult his horoscope before conducting any post-match interviews. This requirement comes after the North London club’s unusual collaboration with the Astrological Council of the United Kingdom, aimed at ensuring…
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Astrology App Co-Star Now Available on Android; Instantly Sparks Multi-Platform Existential Crisis
Silicon Valley, CA – In a monumental leap forward for astrological technology, Co-Star, the enigmatic astrological app previously limited to iOS, has finally made its debut on Android devices as of this morning. The long-anticipated release has predictably resulted in a universally disorienting existential crisis spanning across both platforms, according to industry insiders. The app,…
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Co-Star’s Android Launch Allows Users to Finally Blame Retrograde for Forgotten Passwords
New York, NY – In a groundbreaking advancement for astrological accountability, the popular astrology app Co-Star has announced its eagerly anticipated launch on Android devices, offering millions of new users the unparalleled opportunity to attribute their lapses in digital security to the whims of the cosmos. This move marks a significant milestone in the app’s…
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