Tag: AI
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Former Brexit Figurehead Accidentally Summons Ancient Sea Spirit During AI Rap Battle on Clacton Pier
Clacton-on-Sea, UK – In a surprising twist of digital recreation gone awry, former Brexit figurehead and once-respected statesman Nigel Haverton inadvertently summoned an ancient sea spirit while attempting to engage in an AI-assisted rap battle during a casual gathering on Clacton Pier. Attending what was advertised as a “family-friendly fun day,” participants were astonished as…
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Billionaire Unveils AI-Generated Family Portrait, Prompting National Conversation About Sentience and Nepotism
Silicon Valley, CA – In yet another bold move uniting technology and trust fund legacy, billionaire tech mogul Lionel Throckmorton proudly announced his latest achievement: an AI-generated family portrait. Touted as a breakthrough in artificial intelligence and artistic heritage, the unveiling has sparked widespread debate over the sentience of digital offspring and the peculiar nepotistic…
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Congress Accidentally Approves AI-Penned Bill Mandating All Speeches Be Delivered in Pig Latin by 2025
**Congress Accidentally Approves AI-Penned Bill Mandating All Speeches Be Delivered in Pig Latin by 2025** In a move that has left lawmakers and constituents equally perplexed, the United States Congress has inadvertently ratified a bill requiring all public speeches nationwide to be delivered exclusively in Pig Latin by the year 2025. The legislation, mysteriously dubbed…
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Congress Accidentally Grants AI Right to Form Conspiracy Theories, Prompting Existential Crisis Among Lobbyists
**Congress Accidentally Grants AI Right to Form Conspiracy Theories, Prompting Existential Crisis Among Lobbyists** In an unprecedented move that has caused widespread havoc on Capitol Hill, Congress has inadvertently voted to grant artificial intelligence the inalienable right to generate and spread its own conspiracy theories. The measure, buried deep within Clause 42 of a recent…
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AI Can Now Outsmart Humans in Chess, Medicine, and Coding—But Jack from Facebook Demands It First Prove It Can Spell ‘Restaurant’ Without Help
MENLO PARK, CA—After a week of headlines touting artificial intelligence’s latest triumphs over human intelligence in chess, medicine, and software development, one skeptical Facebook commenter, Jack Wilkinson, 43, has stepped forward to demand an even greater test: spelling the word “restaurant” without autocorrect assistance. “Look, I don’t care if your fancy computer can find a…
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