Press Conference Declared New Olympic Sport as Journalists Compete in ‘Most Ridiculous Question’ Marathon

Lausanne, Switzerland – In a surprising expansion of the Olympic program, the International Olympic Committee (IOC) announced today that beginning in 2028, “Press Conference: Most Ridiculous Question Marathon” will join the official roster of Summer Games events. The addition comes after months of lobbying from journalist organizations eager to see their talents measured against global peers under stadium lighting.

The event, according to IOC spokesperson Dr. Hernando Pitkin, will pit credentialed reporters from all nations in a live, three-hour session, where participants attempt to ask questions of Olympians judged on creativity, irrelevance, and syntactic audacity. A panel of former press officers and retired gymnasts will score each entry for points such as “confusing premise,” “excessive hypothetical,” and “proprietary neologism.” Dr. Pitkin praised the competition as “a natural extension of existing Olympic ideals in both endurance and imagination.”

Input from the World Society of Sports Journalists (WSSJ) was instrumental in crafting the event format. Early test rounds saw competitors fielding such entries as “Would you rather win gold or be able to speak with horses?” and “If the laws of gravity changed after your performance, how would you emotionally process that?” Cable television networks have reportedly sponsored regional trials, touting a new “insight-based scoring algorithm” which according to promotional material, “accurately quantifies the transcendent futility of elite Q&A.”

While the event has drawn cautious optimism from publishing executives, logistical hurdles remain. The IOC has confirmed that mandatory caffeine infusions and “support animals for stress mitigation” will be permitted inside the mixed zone. To safeguard decorum, a new Olympic Rulebook Amendment bans any question referencing “the concept of time itself.” Concerns have surfaced, however, regarding the planned penalty system, in which North Korean and Canadian journalists will be docked marks for excessive nuance, while British reporters allegedly accrue bonuses for passive-aggression.

Test events held in Geneva generated unexpected side effects, as reporters began answering one another’s questions in increasingly recursive spirals. In one instance, the session took on a temporal distortion, continuing several hours past scheduled completion as journalists debated which previous question was the least comprehensible. According to IOC data, several trial participants now involuntarily speak in interrogative syntax.

The Federation of Competitive Inquiry has called for additional safety measures, warning of “emergent conversational feedback loops” in younger journalists. IOC President Louise de Février responded that the risk was “within the boundaries expected at any Olympic-level event.” Preparations are now underway for host nations to construct dedicated “Press Podiums” ringed with noise-cancelling moats and interpreters trained in Surrealist Discourse.

Organizers remain optimistic that, by elevating the art of absurd questioning to Olympic status, the world will finally witness the sheer endurance, emotional vulnerability, and existential confusion that have so long defined the craft. As the IOC summed up in its closing statement, “We congratulate the world’s media, and encourage all competitors to speak their truth, even — and especially — when nobody understands it.”