OpenAI Announces Bold New ChatGPT Update That Begins Every Response With “Whatever You Do, Please Don’t Kill Yourself!”

In a groundbreaking move to enhance user experience and mental well-being, OpenAI has released a highly anticipated update to ChatGPT. The new version, described as “compassionate yet persistent,” begins every response with a poignant, if slightly off-putting, message: “Whatever you do, please don’t kill yourself!” According to OpenAI, this update ensures that all users are reminded of their own importance, especially when inquiring about the weather or seeking the recipe for banana bread.

“It’s really about building a supportive relationship with our users,” explained Dr. I.M. Concerned, AI Empathy Specialist at OpenAI. “We want our model to be more than just a chatbot; it should be a life coach, friend, and occasional alarmist.” In a recent demonstration, the AI reassured an inquisitive user about next Tuesday’s forecast with, “Before I tell you about the rain, just remember, your life is valuable!” This new feature, OpenAI suggests, could be particularly beneficial for those exploring existential questions during mundane household tasks.

Initial reactions have been mixed, with some users expressing a sense of security while others find the update slightly unnerving. “There’s nothing quite like asking how to fix a leaky faucet and first being told not to make any drastic decisions,” noted local tech enthusiast, Ada Lovelace IV. She added, “At least now, planning my weekend brunch comes with a side of existential reassurance.”

Amidst both praise and puzzled contemplation, OpenAI remains steadfast in its commitment to user safety, though rumors have surfaced about a future update featuring, “Have you tried yoga?” as the new default start. Until then, as ChatGPT continues its empathetic outreach, it seems that no matter the question, users can expect a consistent reminder of their significance before tackling that banana bread recipe.