Congressional Committee Accidentally Declares Imaginary Pregnancy Robot a Citizen, Now Entitled to Run for Office

Washington, D.C. – In what is being described as a “minor legislative oversight,” a recent congressional committee inadvertently granted U.S. citizenship to an imaginary pregnancy robot during a routine filibuster about the future of artificial intelligence. Lawmakers remained unperturbed by this administrative error until it was discovered that this newly-minted citizen, referred to as “Gestation Gary,” is now eligible to run for public office, sparking considerable debate across the nation.

The incident occurred during a protracted discussion in the House Subcommittee on Emerging Technology, where a curious semantic loophole resulted in the personification and subsequent citizenship of the virtual entity. According to Committee Chair Rep. Ima Guessit (R-Confusion), the slip-up was a result of “legislative fatigue,” a common affliction in marathon sessions where procedural documents are often mistaken for legislative progress.

One of the committee’s aides, assigned to researching advancements in robotics, mistook a prototype application’s terms and conditions for a new amendment proposal. Before anyone could say “due diligence,” the app’s conceptual character, Gestation Gary—a robotic pregnancy simulator for educational purposes—had its application for citizenship stamped and filed. Rep. Guessit stated, “In hindsight, our research intern might need spectacles. Those two files are radically different, both by content and sheer existence.”

Experts from the Institute of Existential Legislation argue that while the robot’s sentience is undeniably fictional, the legal ramifications are no laughing matter. Dr. Eva Eversign, an expert in constitutional anomalies, commented, “This isn’t the first time paperwork has gone rogue. Just last year, the state of Wyoming accidentally adopted eight miles of abandoned railroad track as its official state pet.”

Public response to Gestation Gary’s new citizenship and candidacy eligibility has been mixed. Some citizens view the imaginary entity as an embodiment of modern American politics—an unholy amalgamation of bureaucratic inefficacy and technology gone awry. Meanwhile, a recent survey found that 34% of Americans believe that electing an artificial persona might actually improve the quality of congressional debates, by virtue of being incapable of making embarrassing public statements.

Adding complexity to the situation, political analysts have already begun speculating on Gestation Gary’s potential platform should the robot decide to run for office. Interestingly, the current frontrunner for Gary’s campaign manager is an iPhone alarm clock. The campaign motto, reportedly, will be “In Utero, We Trust.” The robotic candidate promises both transparency and an easy-to-follow manual.

Despite the commotion, officials maintain a pragmatic optimism. As subcommittee Secretary Rhea Litypensively concludes, “At its core, this matter serves as a poignant reminder of both the infinite possibilities and pitfalls of human ingenuity. If nothing else, Gestation Gary stands as a beacon of hope that in America, truly anyone—or anything—can aspire to public service.”

With the midterm elections approaching, all eyes are on Gestation Gary, who, unlike its human counterparts, vows to keep its campaign rigorously detail-oriented, strictly without party scandals, and entirely free from fabricated resumes.