The Fraudulent Times

Categoria: Politics

  • Nation Warmly Welcomes New Election Season with Joyous Ritual of Blocking Relatives on Social Media

    In a time-honored tradition that has become as American as apple pie and pre-dawn corporate sales, citizens across the nation have joyfully ushered in a fresh election season by commencing the ceremonious blocking of relatives on various social media platforms. What began as an avoidance tactic to sidestep Aunt Linda’s post about kombucha hauls has…

  • Congress Holds Emergency Session to Debate Whether Pizza Is a Sandwich

    In an unprecedented move signaling both legislative agility and culinary curiosity, Congress has convened an emergency session to deliberate what some are calling “the most pivotal gastronomic quandary of our time”: whether pizza qualifies as a sandwich. Lawmakers, temporarily suspending discourse on budget appropriations and foreign policy concerns, have devoted their attention to dissecting the…

  • Political Strategists Announce Plans to Hold Campaign Rallies Exclusively in Swing State Waffle Houses

    In a groundbreaking move that is sure to enthrall undecided voters and possibly clog their arteries, top political strategists have declared that future campaign rallies will exclusively be held in swing state Waffle Houses. This decision marks a decisive turn in American politics, as candidates hope to siphon votes from the syrup-splattered booths of these…

  • FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

    NIH and Niantic Announce Groundbreaking Public Health Initiative: ‘Gotta Catch ’em all!’ Mobile App March 2025 – Washington, D.C. – The National Institutes of Health (NIH) and Niantic, the company behind Pokémon GO, have announced an unprecedented collaboration to revolutionize disease awareness and tracking with the launch of ‘Gotta Catch ’em all!’, a state-of-the-art mobile…

  • Investigative Report Reveals Boris Johnson Is Just Donald Trump on a Windy Day

    London, UK—In an unprecedented investigative report, journalists have unveiled that former UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson is, in fact, former US President Donald Trump experiencing a particularly unfortunate hair day. This revelation has sent shockwaves through political circles on both sides of the Atlantic.​en.wikipedia.org+2en.wikipedia.org+2en.wikipedia.org+2 For years, political analysts have noted the striking similarities between Johnson…

  • Putin Admits He Gets All Political News From Asmongold Reaction Videos

    MOSCOW — In a shocking revelation that has left Kremlin watchers and geopolitical analysts reeling, Russian President Vladimir Putin admitted in a recent interview that he gets all of his political news from Twitch streamer Asmongold’s reaction videos. “Why would I waste time with CNN, BBC, or even Russian state media when I can get…

  • “Bona Fide Academic” Flexes His Intellectual Superiority by Deferring to the “Experts”

    CAMBRIDGE, MA — Local professor Dr. Jonathan Pembroke, an esteemed scholar with an impressive tenure at Northridge University, demonstrated his towering intellectual prowess yet again this week by masterfully refusing to have an opinion, instead choosing to “defer to the experts.” “In today’s world, with so much misinformation, it’s important to listen to those who…

  • Orange Man Fails to Sell Out National Resources—Analysts Question His Commitment to Corruption

    WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a shocking departure from standard operating procedure, President Donald Trump has reportedly not signed a lucrative mineral rights deal that would have sold off vast reserves of rare earth elements to a foreign conglomerate. The move—or rather, lack thereof—has stunned political observers, who long assumed he would eagerly exchange America’s subterranean…

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