Categoria: Innovation
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Department of Agriculture Unveils Plan to Market Tentacled Rabbits as Eco-Friendly Pest Control
WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a bold push to embrace sustainable agriculture, the U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA) announced Friday its controversial new initiative to promote the use of tentacled rabbits, or *Oryctolagus calamaroides*, as a “green” alternative to chemical pesticides—despite critics’ concerns about the possible unintended consequences of unleashing cephalopod-infused mammals in America’s heartland. “We’re very excited…
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U.S. Treasury Announces New Initiative to Directly Harness Disappointment from Overseas AI Chip Sales
In an attempt to tap into a previously unexploited national resource, the U.S. Treasury Department Monday unveiled a bold initiative to directly harness the staggering disappointment generated by the country’s declining overseas AI chip sales. Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen described the plan as “the next logical step for American innovation,” after supply chain bottlenecks, rising…
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Olympic Committee Introduces New ‘Windproof’ Human-Classified Jump Suits Made Entirely of Concrete
In a bold move to “bring fairness, stability, and literal rigidity” to the highly competitive world of Olympic ski jumping, the International Olympic Committee (IOC) has unveiled the first-ever line of “windproof human-classified jump suits” constructed entirely out of concrete. During a ceremonial press event—delayed three hours as crew members attempted to haul the suits…
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