The Fraudulent Times

Categoria: Grifting

  • Tech CEOs Admit to Embezzlement for Tax Purposes, Insist It’s Just Good Business Strategy

    Tech CEOs Admit to Embezzlement for Tax Purposes, Insist It’s Just Good Business Strategy

    San Francisco, CA – In a coordinated announcement early Wednesday, several of America’s leading tech CEOs admitted to systematic embezzlement of company funds, arguing that the practice is an “overlooked but powerful” tax optimization strategy. The press conference, hosted in a Palo Alto co-working space decorated with reclaimed bitcoin servers, drew executives from eight Fortune…

  • Ex-NFL Star’s New Charity ‘Touchdowns for Traffickers’ Raises Funds and Eyebrows

    Dallas, TX – Former All-Pro linebacker Mark “Crusher” Callahan unveiled his latest philanthropic venture this week, launching ‘Touchdowns for Traffickers,’ a charity he says is “dedicated to bringing high-scoring support to the world’s most hustling entrepreneurs.” The non-profit, registered Monday with the state of Texas, has already raised over $1.2 million in pledges, according to…

  • Macau Announces New Economic Plan: Betting on the Next Global Crisis to Attract Visionary Investors

    Macau Announces New Economic Plan: Betting on the Next Global Crisis to Attract Visionary Investors

    Macau – The Macau Special Administrative Region today unveiled its latest and boldest economic revitalization strategy: a comprehensive initiative to position Macau as the premier betting hub not just for sports or gaming, but for the precise timing and nature of the next global crisis. Dubbed “FutureScale,” the initiative was announced at a press conference…

  • AT&T Unveils ‘Peer Support Network’ So Customers Can Fix Each Other’s Shit for Free

    AT&T Unveils ‘Peer Support Network’ So Customers Can Fix Each Other’s Shit for Free

    DALLAS, TX — In a bold move that industry insiders are calling “unapologetically lazy” and “profoundly on-brand,” AT&T this week unveiled its Peer Support Network™, a revolutionary new system where paying customers can finally skip the hassle of receiving professional help by fixing each other’s technical issues—for absolutely no pay, benefits, or reason. According to…

  • Kim Kardashian Opens Korean Spa Specializing in Rejuvenating Face Leeches and Emotional Bankruptcy

    Los Angeles, CA – In a groundbreaking fusion of both cosmetics and desolation, Kim Kardashian has announced the launch of her latest business venture: a Korean spa that combines the age-old tradition of facial leeching with a modern attempt at achieving emotional bankruptcy. Known as “Kardashian’s Kure,” the celebrity’s newest establishment promises clients an invigorating…

  • Cairns Police Stumped as Thieves Escape with Entire Elevator Shaft, Leave Pizza Crust Trail of Breadcrumbs

    CAIRNS — In a move authorities are calling both “brazen and moderately glutenous,” a group of as-yet-unidentified thieves made off with an entire elevator shaft from the newly constructed Coral Grove Office Park early Thursday morning, leaving behind nothing but confusion, a gaping eight-storey void, and, inexplicably, a meandering trail of discarded pizza crusts. “We’ve…

  • Tennessee Truck Stop Declared National Landmark for Its Pioneering Work in Non-Existence

    NASHVILLE, TN — In a ceremony attended by several government officials, two confused tourists, and the world’s leading metaphysicist, the I-24 Oasis Truck Stop has been unanimously designated as America’s first National Landmark for Non-Existence. The honor recognizes the truck stop’s groundbreaking achievement: never having actually existed on the physical plane while somehow becoming wildly…

  • FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

    NIH and Niantic Announce Groundbreaking Public Health Initiative: ‘Gotta Catch ’em all!’ Mobile App March 2025 – Washington, D.C. – The National Institutes of Health (NIH) and Niantic, the company behind Pokémon GO, have announced an unprecedented collaboration to revolutionize disease awareness and tracking with the launch of ‘Gotta Catch ’em all!’, a state-of-the-art mobile…

  • “Here in My Bankruptcy”: Tai Lopez Teaches You How to Fail Up

    Self-Proclaimed Business Guru Now Selling ‘The 67 Steps to Losing Millions’ LOS ANGELES—Infamous Lamborghini enthusiast and self-help connoisseur Tai Lopez has unveiled his latest revolutionary course, “The 67 Steps to Losing Millions and Still Flexing Like a Boss.” Lopez, best known for his “Here in my garage” ad—where he stood next to a rented Lambo…

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