Categoria: Entertainment
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Final Trailer For ‘Roofman’ Promises Oscar-Worthy Performances From CGI Shingles And Human Lead
Los Angeles, CA – In anticipation of its much-hyped awards season debut, the final trailer for Lamprey Studios’ “Roofman” released Thursday morning, showcasing what critics are calling “possibly the best digital shingle work since the revival of Mary Poppins.” The trailer features lead actor Glenn Roswell’s stoic portrayal of Henry Slate—an aging roofer struggling with…
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Vince McMahon Unveils New WWE Character Based on His Therapist’s Therapy Goat, Fans Question Reality
Stamford, CT – WWE chairman Vince McMahon surprised viewers Wednesday evening by introducing a new wrestling persona, “Dr. Billie the Therapy Goat,” a character reportedly inspired by his personal therapist’s support animal. The unexpected debut during the flagship “Monday Night Raw” immediately prompted confusion among fans and industry analysts alike, many of whom expressed concern…
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Professional Wrestler Announces New Record for Quietest Silence Broken After Grappling with Own Mortality
Greensboro, NC – In a subdued ceremony attended by several dozen fans, veteran professional wrestler Tommy “The Sledgehammer” Dugan quietly announced that he has broken the world record for Quietest Silence Broken, following what organizers described as a nearly undetectable moment of reflection during which he grappled with his own mortality. Witnesses confirm that the…
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New AI Video App Promptly Invents 17 Genres of Existential Dread Cinema, Critics Hail It as ‘Accidentally Avant-Garde’
Los Angeles, CA – A new artificial intelligence-powered video creation app, CineMinima, has inadvertently invented 17 previously unclassified genres of existential dread cinema, according to an enthusiastic early assessment by the American Federation of Film Critics (AFFC). The announcement has been described by industry insiders as “a watershed moment for movies seeking to alienate and…
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EXCLUSIVE: King Tut’s Secret Pet Name for Cleopatra Unearthed as New Scrolls Detail Royal Dysfunction in Ancient Egypt Soap Opera
Cairo, Egypt – Archaeologists with the Pan-Egyptian Restoration Initiative announced Wednesday the discovery of an unprecedented cache of papyrus scrolls detailing the inner workings of Ancient Egypt’s most infamous royal court. According to a pre-publication embargoed summary shared with The Fraudulent Times, the scrolls contain reference to a long-rumored pet name King Tutankhamun used for…
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Hollywood Declares War on Leaf Blowers: Script Writers Fear Losing Roles to Machines with More Personality
Los Angeles, CA – The Motion Picture Industry Council (MPIC) passed an emergency resolution this week officially designating high-powered gas leaf blowers as a threat to Hollywood’s creative workforce, particularly screenwriters. The move comes amid growing concern that the sound, presence, and perceived emotional range of leaf blowers have begun to outshine human writers both…
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Critics Hail New Sitcom as “Charming Disaster” After Writers Accidentally Infuse Script with Quantum Mechanics
Los Angeles, CA – In a surprise turn of events at last night’s network premiere, critics and audiences alike flooded social media to praise the new sitcom “Roommates in Flux” as a “charming disaster,” following reports that core elements of the script were inexplicably driven by the principles of quantum mechanics. The sitcom, intended as…
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New Jujutsu Kaisen Villain Revealed as Existential Dread, Fans Excited for Relatable Antagonist
Tokyo, Japan – The production team of the widely acclaimed anime series Jujutsu Kaisen announced today the introduction of its latest villain: Existential Dread. According to executive producer Mairo Tetsuka, the new antagonist is expected to offer “a uniquely personal” conflict for the show’s protagonists, marking a shift from previous seasons’ focus on corporeal curses…
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Celebrity Underwear Firm Offers Exclusive Tour to Distract from Underwear Shortage Scandal
Los Angeles, CA – In an unexpected response to recent controversy, acclaimed luxury underwear brand Veil Intimates has announced an “Exclusive Behind-the-Seams Tour” for select fans and media. This initiative arrives mere days after reports of a severe product shortage that left several high-profile customers without fresh pairs for televised appearances. While executives deny any…
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Nation on Edge as Brentford vs. Man Utd Match Preview Becomes More Compelling Than Actual Game
London, UK – Millions across Britain and abroad found themselves unexpectedly riveted Sunday afternoon, not by the Brentford vs. Manchester United match, but by the official pre-game preview segment, according to early reports from both broadcasters and emergency services. The phenomenon has led to widespread confusion, with several viewers refusing to adjust their televisions even…
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