Blacksburg, VA – In a bold initiative aimed at redefining athletic achievement, Virginia Tech’s Department of Intercollegiate Athletics has unveiled the “Participation Trophy Plus”—an award specifically created for the most consistently benched player on each varsity team. According to a press release issued Thursday morning, the award is “designed to improve morale and reinforce a sense of belonging among those student-athletes who have not, technically speaking, played.”
“This is unprecedented in college sports,” said Dr. Melinda Croffwell, the Assistant Dean of Spirit Enhancement. “By recognizing the courage it takes to remain ready, attentive, and seated, we hope to foster mental health, unity, and a new appreciation for passive participation.” Administrators at the unveiling ceremony showcased an impressive four-pound bronze statue, depicting a faceless athlete sitting with perfect posture while clutching a laminated roster.
Eligibility guidelines provided by the university’s Committee for Visible Inclusion require that recipients must have logged fewer than 62 seconds of game time over the season, punctuated by at least three fruitless warm-ups per match. According to Croffwell, the committee briefly debated including a “snack break clause,” but concluded that visiting the concession stand should not disadvantage any aspiring honorees.
Coaches will be required to document every “bench asset event” on a new electronic tracking system, tentatively branded SitStat. “With real-time analytics, we can measure the precise frequency and duration of sideline contributions,” said Varsity Football Head Coach Marty Dudell. “It may even be possible to monetize this with targeted sponsorships from adhesive bandage or blanket manufacturers.” Players are invited to compete for the trophy through a point system that rewards activities such as passing water bottles, slow clapping, and “emotional support yells” from the furthest corner of the bench.
The university expects to grant forty-seven Participation Trophy Plus awards this academic year. At the inaugural ceremony, recipients will deliver acceptance speeches limited to 37 seconds “to mirror their typical time on the field,” according to event guidelines leaked by the Office of Morale Resources. The ceremony will be held in the auxiliary gymnasium’s storage closet, in a move widely hailed as “respectfully on brand.”
Some critics have questioned the long-term impact of the initiative, noting that three bench-award hopefuls disappeared from team listings after attempting to “qualify harder” by hiding behind gym mats for an entire season. Nevertheless, university officials maintain that this new tradition signals a commitment to “bench inclusivity” which, in Croffwell’s words, “may one day inspire similar recognition for coaching interns, mascot alternates, and the custodial staff who scrub motivational quotes onto locker room walls.”
The first trophy will be presented next week, with the ceremony live-streamed to the campus quad for those “unable to secure seating.”
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